Saturday 15 March 2008

You have been warned...

  • "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.
  • "For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.
  • "Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.
  • "Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.
  • "Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.
  • "Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.
  • "Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.
  • "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.
  • "This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool.
  • "Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant.
  • "Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.
  • "Caution: This is not a safety protective device." -- On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn.
  • "Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter.
  • "Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer.
  • "Not intended for highway use." -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow.
  • "May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray.
  • "Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock."
  • "Caution! Contents hot!" -- On a Domino's Pizza box.
  • "Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup.
  • "Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee.
  • "Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.
  • "Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife.
  • "Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less." -- On a birthday card for a 1 year old.
  • "Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.
  • "For use on animals only." -- On an electric cattle prod.
  • "For use by trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener.
  • "Keep out of reach of children and teenagers." -- On a can of air freshener.
  • "Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror.
  • "Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison.
  • "Look before driving." -- On the dash board of a mail truck.
  • "Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for an iron.
  • "Do not drive car or operate machinery." -- On Boot's children's cough medicine.
  • "For indoor or outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights.
  • "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -- On a child sized Superman costume.
  • "Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station.
  • "Do not turn upside down." -- On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box.
  • "Not for human consumption." -- On a package of dice.
  • "May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers.
  • "Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw.
  • "Warning: May contain nuts." -- On a package of peanuts.
  • "Do not eat if seal is missing." -- On said seal.
  • "Remove occupants from the stroller before folding it."
  • "Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills.
  • "Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.
  • "Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer.
  • "Turn off motor before using this product." -- On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.
  • "Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame.
  • "Do not put in mouth." -- On a box of bottle rockets.
  • "Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV.
  • "Do not put lit candles on phone." -- On the instructions for a cordless phone.
  • "Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch.

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