Saturday 11 December 2010

There's a one-eyed yellow idol

THE GREEN EYE OF THE LITTLE YELLOW GOD
by
J. Milton Hayes

There's a one-eyed yellow idol to the north of Khatmandu,
There's a little marble cross below the town;
There's a broken-hearted woman tends the grave of Mad Carew,
And the Yellow God forever gazes down.

He was known as "Mad Carew" by the subs at Khatmandu,
He was hotter than they felt inclined to tell;
But for all his foolish pranks, he was worshipped in the ranks,
And the Colonel's daughter smiled on him as well.

He had loved her all along, with a passion of the strong,
The fact that she loved him was plain to all.
She was nearly twenty-one and arrangements had begun
To celebrate her birthday with a ball.

He wrote to ask what present she would like from Mad Carew;
They met next day as he dismissed a squad;
And jestingly she told him then that nothing else would do
But the green eye of the little Yellow God.

On the night before the dance, Mad Carew seemed in a trance,
And they chaffed him as they puffed at their cigars:
But for once he failed to smile, and he sat alone awhile,
Then went out into the night beneath the stars.

He returned before the dawn, with his shirt and tunic torn,
And a gash across his temple dripping red;
He was patched up right away, and he slept through all the day,
And the Colonel's daughter watched beside his bed.

He woke at last and asked if they could send his tunic through;
She brought it, and he thanked her with a nod;
He bade her search the pocket saying "That's from Mad Carew,"
And she found the little green eye of the god.

She upbraided poor Carew in the way that women do,
Though both her eyes were strangely hot and wet;
But she wouldn't take the stone and Mad Carew was left alone
With the jewel that he'd chanced his life to get.

When the ball was at its height, on that still and tropic night,
She thought of him and hurried to his room;
As she crossed the barrack square she could hear the dreamy air
Of a waltz tune softly stealing thro' the gloom.

His door was open wide, with silver moonlight shining through;
The place was wet and slipp'ry where she trod;
An ugly knife lay buried in the heart of Mad Carew,
'Twas the "Vengeance of the Little Yellow God."

There's a one-eyed yellow idol to the north of Khatmandu,
There's a little marble cross below the town;
There's a broken-hearted woman tends the grave of Mad Carew,
And the Yellow God forever gazes down.

Saturday 6 November 2010

Saturday 9 October 2010

The 'embarrassing complaint' video that's in fact a prank

This went on Facebook as an embarrassing customer complaint. In fact it was a prank call.

Saturday 2 October 2010

Lant

What is Lant?


It was used, among other things:

To freshen the breath,
To flavour ales,
To glaze hard pastries.

But what is it?

To find out look here but you may want to be seated when you do so, because if it was used for these things today the health and safety and food police would have a field-day! But it makes you think, doesn't it?

Saturday 11 September 2010

Saturday 28 August 2010

Just for you to know...

On a packet of headache tablets.

Side effects may include:

Rashes, boils, warts, lesions, sore skin, burning, itching, oozing, ulcars, fever, swollen glands, hair loss, blood poisoning, high/low blood pressure, stomach pains, nausea, vomiting, dizziness, drowsiness, confusion, insomnia, hallucinations, anxiety, psychosis, insanity and, in some cases, headaches.

Saturday 14 August 2010

Alchemy

If alchemy is a hollow deception, then some of the most intelligent men who ever lived have been deceived.

Saturday 7 August 2010

Your life on the internet

This is the site Facebook does NOT want you to see. If you try to send if, or use it as part of your status you get this message:

"This message contains blocked content that has previously been flagged as abusive or spammy. Let us know if you think this is an error."

The site's contents are not abusive or spammy, but Mark Zuckerberg would get decidedly sweaty if everyone could see it.

Saturday 10 July 2010

Saturday 19 June 2010

If only...

From "The secret teachings of all ages", by Manly P. Hall

When the mob governs, man is ruled by ignorance; when the church governs, he is ruled by superstition; and when the state governs, he is ruled by fear. Before men can live together in harmony and understanding, ignorance must be transmuted into wisdom, superstition into an illumined faith, and fear into love. From age to age the vision of a perfect civilization is preserved as the ideal for mankind. In the midst of that civilization shall stand a mighty university wherein both the sacred and secular sciences concerning the mysteries of life will be freely taught to all who will assume the philosophic life. Here creed and dogma will have no place; the superficial will be removed and only the essential be preserved. The world will be ruled by its most illumined minds, and each will occupy the position for which he is most admirably fitted.

The great university will be divided into grades, admission to which will be through preliminary tests or initiations. Here mankind will be instructed in the most sacred, the most secret, and the most enduring of all Mysteries--Symbolism. Here the initiate will be taught that every visible object, every abstract thought, every emotional reaction is but the symbol of an eternal principle. Here mankind will learn that CHiram (Truth) lies buried in every atom of Kosmos; that every form is a symbol and every symbol the tomb of an eternal verity. Through education--spiritual, mental, moral, and physical--man will learn to release living truths from their lifeless coverings. The perfect government of the earth must be patterned eventually after that divine government by which the universe is ordered. In that day when perfect order is reestablished, with peace universal and good triumphant, men will no longer seek for happiness, for they shall find it welling up within themselves. Dead hopes, dead aspirations, dead virtues shall rise from their graves, and the Spirit of Beauty and Goodness repeatedly slain by ignorant men shall again be the Master of Work. Then shall sages sit upon the seats of the mighty and the gods walk with men.

Saturday 22 May 2010

Saturday 15 May 2010

Saturday 8 May 2010

Why

Once upon a time I bought a HIFI. It came in one self-contained box and had a record player, a cassette deck and a radio tuner. I took it home, put it on the sideboard, plugged in the speakers and the aerial (A piece of wire that I put up on the wall with drawing pins), plugged it into the mains and turned it on. It worked first time and continued to work faultlessly for the next five years until the cassette deck finally gave up the ghost. The question is: Why isn't all technology like that? Why do we have updates and need protection from spam, malware and spyware and viruses? Why do Microsoft sell something as basic as a word-processor but make it so overloaded with bloatware that it strains the memory and processor of even the newest computer? Why? Why? Why!!!

Saturday 13 March 2010

Am I alone

To whom it may concern,

Am I alone in wishing that the various Discovery Channels would concentrate on educating us on the wonderous universe around us and how it works instead of concentrating on such banality as Scrapheap Challenge, Planet's Funniest Animals, Really Reckless Drivers, the fake exploits of the 'Born Survivor' Bear Grylls and the cavalcade of senseless destruction which is Mythbusters?

Saturday 27 February 2010

Saturday 13 February 2010

Time Capsule - The Facebook Homepage in 2010

This is how the Facebook Homepage looked in 2010. Hasn't it changed since then?!

Saturday 6 February 2010

Chaoscope - Strange Attractors















I created these images when I was tinkering with a program called Chaoscope. It's a fairly old program that can create all kinds of Strange Attractors. The. program works (just about) in Windows Vista

Saturday 30 January 2010

The Lost Symbol

So what can we say about Dan Brown's latest best-seller, "The Lost Symbol"?

It's readable, interesting in parts and... and...

...and what?

Whatever it had there was always something missing, the sense of wonder I got when I read, and re-read, The Da Vinci Code.

It is a pale shadow, a weak echo, of The Da Vinci Code. It had some nice moments but IT COULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH MORE.

If you don't agree look here, here and here.

Saturday 23 January 2010

The Pigpen Cypher

This is the Pigpen Cypher of "Freemason's Cypher" mentioned in Dan Brown's latest bestseller

More information on this can be found here.

It can't really be called a cypher any more as anyone who wants to can look for it on the Internet.




Saturday 9 January 2010

Saturday 2 January 2010

How to say it without saying it

Instead of going to the lavatory you could...

Ride a pony and trap
Spend a penny
Do a number one/two
Have a BM
Take a whiz`z
Have a pit stop
Visit the chamber of commerce
Post a letter
Tinkle
Pay a visit
Drop the kids off at the pool
Shake hands with the vicar
Lay some cable
Go to your private office
Make a deposit
Shoot a lion
Find a haven of refuge
Spend a penny
Go to Egypt
Answer the call of nature (or nature's call)
See a man about a dog/horse
Relieve yourself
Drain the radiator
Lift the tail (For the horsey fraternity.)
Break the seal
Pay the water bill
Tap a kidney
Water my horse

And finally...

Log out!