Saturday 19 December 2009

This is what you have to do

You will need:

A stout wooden stick, sharpened at one end,
A glass or metal bowl,
A sturdy, powerful torch (Check it works!),
An ornamental dagger,
A quantity of blood (Yours, your worst enemy's etc.) in a bottle,
Six black candles and a box of matches,
An area of sand or sandy soil,
A suitable bag or hold-all for carrying some of the above.

What you are about to do will require you to summon Satan but, as you will see, the end justifies the means. Choose a night which astrologically corresponds to Mercury, the god of magic and which also coincides with a full moon. Put the wooden stick, the bowl, the bottle, the torch, the dagger (suitably sheathed), the matches and the candles in a suitable bag or hold-all. Make your way to the area of ground you have reconnoitred with everything you will need and you are ready to begin. Make sure that you have timed things so that you will have everything ready by 12 midnight.

Take the sharpened stick and inscribe a large pentacle on the ground. Place one of the black candles by each point of the pentacle. Place the bowl in the exact centre of the pentacle and pour the blood into it. Dip the tip of the blade of the dagger in the blood, then place it beside the bowl. Light the candles and walk outside the pentacle.

Now is the time for you to summon Satan. The Internet is replete with information on the right words to say in order to do this, but I usually find you can't go wrong with the appropriate passage of the Necronomicon.

There are a number of caveats about doing this, but as far as I know this is the only way known to Man of getting Windows Vista to work as it should.

Saturday 28 November 2009

Saturday 14 November 2009

Some heraldic animals

Antelope
Bear
Beetle
Dog
Dolphin
Dragon
Eagle
Elephant
Escallop - A rippled shell, like a scallop.
Falcon
Griffin
Hare
Lion
Moth
Owl
Rabbit
Raven
Seahorse
Sheep
Squink
Stag
Turtle
Unicorn
Wolf
Wyvern.

Saturday 31 October 2009

Saturday 17 October 2009

Some mind-blowing Flash creations

http://darkpsychedelic.ru/FV_1.html http://darkpsychedelic.ru/FV_2.html http://darkpsychedelic.ru/FV_3.html http://darkpsychedelic.ru/FV_4.html http://darkpsychedelic.ru/FV_10.html http://darkpsychedelic.ru/FV_11.html http://darkpsychedelic.ru/FV_12.html http://darkpsychedelic.ru/FV_13.html http://darkpsychedelic.ru/FV_14.html http://darkpsychedelic.ru/FV_15.html http://darkpsychedelic.ru/FV_16.html http://darkpsychedelic.ru/FV_17.html http://darkpsychedelic.ru/FV_18.html http://darkpsychedelic.ru/FV_20.html http://darkpsychedelic.ru/FV_21.html http://darkpsychedelic.ru/FV_23.html http://darkpsychedelic.ru/FV_24.html

Saturday 19 September 2009

The Emerald Tablet

1. True, without error, certain and most true
2. That which is below is as that which is above, and that which is above is as that which is below, to perform the miracles of the one thing.
3. And as all things were from [the] one, by [means of] the meditation of [the] one, thus all things of the daughter from [the] one, by [means of] adaptation.
4. Its father is the sun, its mother[,]the moon, the wind carried it in its belly, its nurse is the earth.
5. The father of all the initiates of the whole world is here.
6. Its power is integrating if it be turned into earth.
7. Separate the earth from the fire, the fine from the dense, delicately, by [means of/to] the great [together] with capacity.
8. It ascends by [means of] earth into heaven and again it descends into the earth, and retakes the power of the superior[s] and of the inferior[s].
9. Thus[,] you have the glory of the whole world.
10. Therefore[,] may it drive-out by [means of] you of all the obscurity.
11. This is the whole of the strength of the strong force, because it overcomes all fine things, and penetrates all the complete.
12. Thus[,] the world has been created.
13. Hence they were wonderful adaptations, of which this is the manner.
14. Therefore[,] I am Hermes the Thrice Great, having the three parts of the philosophy of the whole world.
15. What I have said concerning the operation of the Sun has been completed.

Saturday 29 August 2009

Numerology for beginners

In numerology each number is assockated with a concept or set of concepts:

0 - The Universe.
1 - Unity.
2 - Balance.
3 - Interaction.
4 - Practicality.
5 - Change.
6 - Order.
7 - The Mystical.
8 - Contradictions.
9 - The Divine.

Each number can also be associated with a letter:

1 - A, J, S.
2 - B, K, T.
3 - C, L, U.
4 - D, M. V.
5 - E, N, W.
6 - F, O, X.
7 - G, P, Y.
8 - H, Q, Z.
9 - I, R.

This enables words or whole sentences to be reduced to a single number by adding the numbers together until you get a single digit:

N U M E R O L O G Y
5 3 4 5 9 6 3 6 7 7

5+3+4+5+9+6+3+6+7+7=55, 5+5=10, 1+0=1.

It can be fun to use find the number of your name, or other people's names.

Saturday 22 August 2009

Some amazing facts about the number 23

  • Each parent contributes 23 chromosomes to the DNA of a child.
  • "W" is the 23rd letter of the Latin alphabet. It has two points down and three points up.
  • Charles Darwin's Origin of Species was published in 1859 - 1+8+5+9 = 23.
  • It takes 23 seconds for blood to circulate throughout the entire body.
  • Earth's axis is off by 23.5 degrees.
  • The date the Twin Towers were hit is 9/11/2001, 9+11+2+1=23.
  • Two divided by three makes 0.666.
  • The Hiroshima bomb was dropped at 8.15am - 8+15= 23.
  • The first morse code transmission - "What hath God wrought?" - was from the Bible passage Numbers 23:23. In telegraphers code 23 means "break the line".
  • The average human physical biorhythm is 23 days.
  • The date that the Titanic sank was 4/15/1912, 4+1+5+1+9+1+2=23.
  • The 23rd letter of the English alphabet is W. On a QWERTY keyboard, W lies directly below the two and three.
  • December 23, 2012 is the day the classic Mayans said the world would end.
  • Five (2+3) is an immensely significant number in all ancient and some modern rites and rituals.

Saturday 15 August 2009

The Truth?

What's the connection?

Every Royal Family.
The Aristocracy.
Every president of the United States.
All religions.
All Satanism.
Every wars.
The United Nations.
NATO.
The Bank of England.

Reptilian, shape-shifting, blood-drinking aliens.

According to David Icke anyway.

Unfortunately spreading conspiracy theories isn't all he does. His latest theory is that the Swine Flu vaccine was created by the CIA and is deadly.

Saturday 8 August 2009

The Mysterious World

Alerion - A bird the color of fire, with razor-sharp wings
Amphisbaena - A serpent with two heads, one at either end
Ant-lion - The offspring of an ant and a lion, or the lion of ants
Basilisk - Its odor, voice and even look can kill
Bonnacon - A beast like a bull, that uses its dung as a weapon
Caladrius - A bird which can tell if a sick man will die, and can cure disease
Catoblepas - A beast with a head so heavy it can only look down
Centaur - A beast part man and part horse
Cerastes - An exceptionally flexible serpent with horns
Cinnamologus - An Arabian bird that makes its nest from the fruits of the cinnamon tree
Dipsa - A snake so poisionous that its bite kills before it is felt
Dragon - The greatest of all serpents on earth
Echeneis - This fish clings to ships and holds them back
Fire stones - Stones that burst into flames when brought close together
Griffin - A beast with the body of a lion and the wings and head of an eagle
He-goat - A beast so hot that its blood dissolves diamond
Hercinia - A bird with brightly glowing feathers
Hydros - A water snake that makes those bitten swell up
Leontophone - A small beast that is deadly to lions
Leucrota - A composite beast with a mouth that stretches from ear to ear
Mandrake - A plant with human-shaped roots, that shrieks when it is pulled from the earth
Manticore - A composite beast with a man's face, a lion's body, and the stinger of a scorpion
Mermaid - A creature half human, half fish
Monocerus - A fierce beast with a single long horn
Muscaliet - A beast with the body of a hare, tail of a squirrel, teeth of a boar
Onager - A wild ass that can predict the coming of the equinox
Onocentaur - A beast with the upper body of a man and the lower body of an ass
Orphan Bird - The mother bird knows which of her eggs contain the best offspring
Parandrus - A beast that can conceal itself by changing its appearance
Peridexion tree - A tree in India that attracts doves and repells dragons
Phoenix - A bird that rises anew from the ashes of its funeral pyre
Salamander - Salamanders are so cold they can extinguish any fire
Scitalis - A serpent with such a marvelous appearance that it stuns the viewer
Sea-pig - Sea-pigs dig up the ground under water
Seps - The poison of the seps consumes both body and bones
Siren - A deadly creature, half human, half bird or fish
Unicorn - The unicorn is a fierce beast that can only be captured by a maiden
Wether - The wether is named from the worms in its head.

See also: Bestiary,

Saturday 25 July 2009

Some Latin Phrases and Expressions

  • A posteriori. Later, following and adv. "from the latter"; inductive; relating to or derived by reasoning from observed facts. from what comes after "From effect to cause."
  • A priori. Reasoning from causes to effects. Adj. and adv. "from the former"
  • Ab initio. From the beginning.
  • Ab intra. From within.
  • Absum! I'm out of here!
  • Abundant dulcibus vitiis. Nobody's perfect.
  • Ad hoc. For this purpose (a temporary committee); toward this (matter).Bulleted List
  • Ad infinitum. Without limit, forever, or "to the infinite"; without end or limit. To infinity, without limit.
  • Ad libitium (ad lib). "Freely; at ease; at pleasure; at will.
  • Alias (dictus). Otherwise called.
  • Annus Bisextus. Leap year.
  • Annus mirabilis. A remarkable year.
  • Ante meridiem. Before noon. Usually abbreviated A.M.
  • Ante victoriam ne canas triumphum. Do not count your chickens before they're hatched.
  • Apudne te vel me? Your place or mine?
  • Aqua pura. Pure water.
  • Aqua vitae. Water of life (formerly applied to alcohol).
  • Ars artis gratia. Art for art's sake.
  • Ars artium. The art of arts (logic).
  • Ars sine scienta nihil est. Art without science is nothing.
  • Aurora australis. The southern polar lights.
  • Aurora borealis. The northern polar lights.
  • Balaenae nobis conservandae sunt. Save the whales!
  • Bona fide. In good faith; genuine, sincere; genuinely, sincerely.
  • Braccae tuae aperiuntur. Your fly is open.
  • Canis meus id comedit. My dog ate it.
  • Capillamentum? Haudquaquam conieci esse! A wig? I never would have guessed!
  • Carpe diem. Seize the day; pluck the day; i.e., enjoy the day.
  • Cave canem. Beware of the dog.
  • Caveat. "Let him beware".
  • Caveat emptor. "Let the buyer beware".
  • Clamo, clamatis, omnes clamamus pro glace lactis. I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream.
  • Cogito ergo sum. I think, therefore I am (Rene Descartes).
  • Coitus interruptus. Interrupted coitus.
  • Consensus. Agreement.
  • Cornucopia. Horn of plenty.
  • De facto. "In reality"; according to fact; actually.
  • Deus ex machina. A god out of a machine (device).
  • Di! Ecce hora! Uxor mea me necabit! God, look at the time! My wife will kill me!
  • Dictum. "A thing said"; a noteworthy statement.
  • Die dulci fruere. Have a nice day.
  • Dramatis personae. Characters of the play.
  • Dum vita est spes est. While there is life, there is hope.
  • Edamus, bibamus, gaudeamus. Let us eat, drink and be merry (Solomon).
  • Ergo. Therefore; used to show a logical conclusion.
  • Erratum (plur. errata). Error.
  • Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre? Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me?
  • Et al. Abbreviation of et alii, which means "and others". It is used to avoid writing a long list.
  • Et cetera. And the rest; and so on. Often abbreviated etc. or &c.
  • Ex officio. By virtue of the office held; out of (as a result of) one's duty or office.
  • Ex tempore. From the moment.
  • Excelsior. "Ever upward".
  • Fac ut (facut) gaudeam. Make my day.
  • Fac ut vivas. Get a life.
  • Habeas corpus. "Have the body" (Writ to bring a prisoner to court).
  • Habetis bona deum. Have a nice day.
  • Ibid. In the same place (in a book). Abbreviation for ibidem.
  • Illiud Latine dici non potest. You cannot say that in Latin.
  • In absentia. In one's absence; in absence.
  • In camera. "In a chamber"; in private, secretly; In secret or private session; not in public.
  • In dentibus anticis frustum magnum spiniciae habes. You have a big piece of spinach in your front teeth.
  • In extremis. In the last agonies; near death.
  • In flagrante delicto. In the act; in the very act of committing an offence.
  • In loco parentis. In the place of a parent. (Could also be how a Mexican would say “A mad parent”!)
  • In memoriam. To the memory of; in memory of.
  • In perpetuum. Into perpetuity.
  • In re. "In regards to"; in the matter of.
  • In situ. In its original place (position, situation).
  • In statu quo. In the same state (or situation it was before).
  • In toto. Entirely; "in total"; altogether.
  • In vivo. Within the living organism.
  • Infra. Below, on a later page.
  • Ipso facto. "by the fact itself"; by that very fact or act; as an inevitable result.
  • Magna Charta. The Great Paper.
  • Magnum opus. "A great work"; masterpiece; especially, the greatest achievement of an artist or writer.
  • Magnus frater spectat te. Big Brother is watching you.
  • Modus operandi. A method of working, of work, or operating. Manner or method of work characterizing a particular person's professional habits.
  • Morologus es! You're talking like a moron.
  • Ne auderis delere orbem rigidum meum! Don't you dare erase my hard disk!
  • Ne plus ultra. No more beyond (nothing better); nothing further; the highest point capable of being attained: acme.
  • Noli me vocate, ego te vocabo. Do not call me, I'll call you.
  • Noli nothis permittere te terere. Do not let the bastards get you down.
  • Non sequitur. It does not follow.
  • Non sum pisces. I am not a fish.
  • Nosce te ipsum. Know thyself.
  • Nota bene. "Note well". Mark well; used to call attention to something important, is a way of saying, "take note of this".
  • O diem praeclarum! Oh, what a beautiful day!
  • Opere citato (abbreviated Op cit.). In the work just quoted.
  • Orbes volantes exstare. Flying saucers are real.
  • Pari passu. Equally.
  • Pax. Peace; often found in combination with a latinized name, such as Pax Americana, Pax Brittanica, Pax Romana.
  • Per annum. By the year. Per year.
  • Per capita. "By heads", "Per person".
  • Per diem. Literally, "by the day", a daily fee.
  • Per se. By itself; in itself; essentially. "In and of itself." Taken alone.
  • Perscriptio in manibus tabellariorum est. The check is in the post.
  • Prima facie. At first sight; on the face of it. "At first appearance"; at first view: "On its face."
  • Pro forma. For form's sake.
  • Purgamentum init, exit purgamentum. Garbage in, garbage out.
  • Q.v. See quod vide.
  • QED. See quod erat demonstrandum.
  • Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari? How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
  • Quasi. As if.
  • Quid pro quo. One thing for another; something for something; tit for tat.
  • Quod vide. Which See; see that reference - usually abbreviated q.v. (This is a scholarly way of directing the reader to a reference.)
  • Requiescat in pace. Let him/her (may he/she) rest in peace. Usually abbreviated R.I.P.
  • Sic. Thus.
  • Sic hoc adfixum in obice legere potes, et liberaliter educatus et nimis propinquus ades. If you can read this bumper sticker, you are both very well educated, and much too close.
  • Sic transit gloria mundi. Thus passes the glory of the world.
  • Sine die. Without a day being set (specified). With no time fixed.
  • Sine qua non. Without which not (hence: a necessity).
  • Sona si Latine loqueris. Honk if you speak Latin.
  • Status quo. The existing state of affairs (from "statu quo ante".
  • Sub judice. Before a court.
  • Sub rosa. Under the rose (hidden). Secretly, confidential, in confidence.
  • Supra. Above, on an earlier page.
  • Tace atque abi. Shut up and go away.
  • Tempus fugit. Time flies (Vergil).
  • Ubi est mea anaticula cumminosa? Where is my rubber ducky?
  • Verbatim. Word for word. (Indicates a precise transmission of a phrase, discussion, or text.)
  • Via. By way of.
  • Videlicet (abbreviated Viz.). Namely. That is to say; To wit.

Saturday 11 July 2009

The four Humours

The idea of the four humours originated in the idea of the four classic elements: Air, Earth, Fire and Water. Each of the four 'humours' was associated with one of the elements and a different personality type.

Blood was associated with the Sanguine personality type and the element Air. Yellow bile was associated with the Choleric personality type and the element Fire. Black bile was associated with the Melancholic personality type and the element Earth. Water was associated with the Phlegmatic personality type and the element Water. (I think you guessed that!)

Sanguine.

Sanguine indicates the personality of an individual with the temperament of blood, Night, the season of spring (wet and hot), and the classical element of air. A person who is sanguine is generally light-hearted, funloving, a people person, loves to entertain, spontaneous,leader abilities, and confident . However they can be arrogant, cocky, and indulgent. He/She can be day-dreamy and off-task to the point of not accomplishing anything and can be impulsive, possibly acting on whims in an unpredictable fashion. This also describes the manic phase of a bipolar disorder.

Choleric.

Choleric corresponds to the fluid of yellow bile, the season of summer (dry and hot), and the element of fire. A person who is choleric is a doer. They have a lot of ambition, energy, and passion, and try to instill it in others. They can dominate people of other temperaments, especially phlegmatic types. Many great charismatic military and political figures were cholerics. On the negative side, they are easily angered or bad-tempered. A person described as "bilious" is mean-spirited, suspicious, and angry. This, again, is an adaptation of the old humor theory "choleric."

Melancholic.

Melancholic is the personality of an individual characterized by black bile. A person who is a thoughtful ponderer has a melancholic disposition. Often very kind and considerate, melancholics can be highly creative – as in poetry and art - but also can become overly pre-occupied with the tragedy and cruelty in the world, thus becoming depressed. The temperament is associated with the season of fall/autumn (dry and cold) and the element earth. A melancholic is also often a perfectionist, being very particular about what they want and how they want it in some cases. This often results in being unsatisfied with one's own artistic or creative works and always pointing out to themselves what could and should be improved. This temperament describes the depressed phase of a bipolar disorder.

Phlegmatic.

A phlegmatic person is calm and unemotional. Phlegmatic means "pertaining to phlegm", corresponds to the season of winter (wet and cold), and connotes the element of water.

While phlegmatics are generally self-content and kind, their shy personality can often inhibit enthusiasm in others and make themselves lazy and resistant to change. They are very consistent, relaxed, rational, curious, and observant, making them good administrators and diplomats. Like the sanguine personality, the phlegmatic has many friends. However the phlegmatic is more reliable and compassionate; these characteristics typically make the phlegmatic a more dependable friend.

Saturday 27 June 2009

Saturday 6 June 2009

Archetypal End-user Agreement

Reading the end user agreements which appear when you download new programs is a long and arduous task which most people are too busy or eager to bother with. If you download programs and fail to read the end user agreements you may have the vague fear that you are missing something important. For your benefit here is a shortened version of every end user agreement which you will ever not read.

"Archetypal End-user Agreement.

This program comes 'as is' and with no warranty or guarantee of any kind. We will not be held responsible when if the program becomes inoperative or for any damage which will may be caused to your computer when if this happens. We also cannot be held responsible for any trauma caused when if your computer is damaged as a result of using this program.

By installing this program you agree to downloading a spyware and/or virus installer and having your inbox besieged by spam.

If you make copies of this program, even for backup purposes, big men with heavy sticks will come to your house, kill you, ravish your wife and sell your children for medical experiments.

Please press YES to accept or NO to decline."

Saturday 30 May 2009

The Akashic Record

Imagine if every word you speak, every thought you think and everything you do were written down in a book. Now imagine that the words, thoughts and actions of everyone else were written in the same book, along with an exact record of everything else that happens in the universe. Now imagine that the writer of the book had begun his (or her) work on the day that the universe began. [It would have to be a big book, or written in very small letters!]

So, for example the fate of Lord Lucan, the identity of 'Jack the ripper' and the reason for the building of Stonehenge [But not the winning numbers of the next Lotto!] are all recorded in the book if you know where to look, for it is said that it is also possible for you to read the book, if you only knew how.

This is the basic idea of the Akashic record which is written, not in a book, but in the very fabric of creation.

Saturday 16 May 2009

A selection of Solar System objects

The Sun
Mercury
Venus
Earth
>Moon (Luna)
Mars
>Deimos
>Phobos
Asteroid belt
>Ceres, a dwarf planet in the asteroid belt
>Pallas - Asteroid
>Juno - Asteroid
>Vesta - Asteroid
Jupiter
>Io
>Europa
>Ganymede
>Callisto
Saturn
-The Rings of Saturn
>Mimas
>Enceladus
>Tethys
>Dione
>Rhea
>Titan
>Hyperion
>Iapetus
Uranus
-Rings of Uranus
>Miranda
>Ariel
>Umbriel
>Titania
>Oberon
Neptune
-Rings of Neptune
>Proteus
>Triton
>Nereid
>Centaurs - minor planet
>Damocloids - minor planet
>Plutinos - Kuiper belt object
Pluto - A dwarf planet
Charon - Kuiper belt object
Nix - Kuiper belt object
Hydra - Kuiper belt object
90482 Orcus
50000 Quaoar
20000 Varuna
Haumea - A dwarf planet
Namaka
Hi'iaka
Makemake - A dwarf planet
Eris - A dwarf planet
>Dysnomia
(84522) 2002 TC302
Sedna

Saturday 2 May 2009

Medical abbreviations they don't tell you about.

APD - Acute Prozac Deficiency (depression)
AFU & BR - all f***ed up & beyond repair
AHF - Acute Hissy Fit
APTFRAN - Apply Pillow To Face, Repeat As Necessary (for annoying patient)
AQR - Ain’t Quite Right
AST - Assuming Seasonal Temperature (dead)
ATFO - Asked To F*** Off
AWTB/AWTF - Away With The Birds/Away With The Fairies; a patient who is totally confused
BFH - Brat From Hell (usually accompanied by PFH - Parent(s) from Hell)
BTFOM - Beats The F*** Outta Me
BVA - Breathing Valuable Air
BWS - Beached Whale Syndrome
CHAOS - Chief Has Arrived On Scene
CRAFT - Can't Remember A F***ing Thing
CTD - Circling The Drain (see: Close To Death)
DOASTW - Dead On Arrival, and Stayed That Way
DRT - Dead right there
DRTTTT - Dead Right There, There, There, and There - (used after pedestrian/train altercations)
DYRTIGAF - Do You Really Think I Give A (hmmm...)
FD - f***ing drunk
FDGB - Fall Down, Go Boom
FIBD - Found In Bed Dead
FINE - F***ed up, insecure, neurotic & emotional
FITH - F***ed in the head
FORD - Found On Road Dead
FUBAR - Fouled/Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition/Redemption
FUBAR BUNDY - Fouled/Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition/Redemption But Unfortunately Not Dead Yet
GACP - Gravity Assisted Concrete Poisoning - jumped/fell from height
GOMA - Get out of My Ambulance
GOMER = Get Out of My Emergency Room
HBD (or SBD) - (S)he Be Dead
HUA - Head Up Ass
IBM - Incredible Barfing Man
JAR or JAR Syndrome – Just Ain’t Right (often used when a patient has multiple issues)
Journal of Anecdotal Medicine - Davourite, but unwritten, source of medical wisdom
LASGLH - Lights and sirens, go like hell
LFTWM - Looking for 3 Wise Men (applied to young pregnant females who deny having had intercourse)
MARPs - Mind Altering Recreational Pharmaceuticals
NFN - Normal for Norfolk
NFPA - No F***ing Practical Application
PEP - Pharmaceutically Enhanced Personality - stoned or medicated
Please Consult Us If New Issues Arise - Please never page me again
PIA - Pain In the Ass
PITA - Pain In The Ass
SEP - Somebody else’s problem
SHPOS - Sub-Human Piece of S***
SNEFS - Sub-Normal Even For Suffolk
SSDD - Same Sh*t Different Day
SWAG - Scientific Wild Ass Guess
TMB - Too Many Birthdays (old folks home)
TMI - Three Meaningless Initials (e.g. John Smith, TMI - applied to medics with qualifications rather than ability)
TTFO - Told To F*ck Off
TTOAST - Take Them Out and Shoot Them
ULPP - Unlicensed Pharmaceutical Provider (drug dealer)
WOMBAT - Waste Of Money, Brains And Time

Saturday 18 April 2009

Rowan Atkinson: The SchoolmaSster Sketch - Script

(Atkinson takes the stage alone, dressed as an old-fashioned schoolmaster) Right. Quiet. (He reads list as if taking morning register)

Ainsley. Babcock. Bland. Carthorse. Dint. Ellsworth-Beast Major. Ellsworth-Beast Minor. Fiat. German. Hemoglobin. Have-a-nut. Jones, M. Jones, N. Kossigan. Loud-Haylark. Mattock. Nancyboy-Possum. Nibble. Come on, settle down. Orifice. Plectrum. Poinse. Sediment. Soda. Te. Te? Under-manager.
Zob. Absent.

(He sighs) All right, your essays. Discuss the contention that Cleopatra had the body of a roll-top desk and the mind of a duck. Oxford and Cambridge board all over paper, 1976. Don't fidget, Bland.

The answer: yes. Jones, M; Orifice; Sediment and Undermanager, see me afterwards. Most of you of course didn't write nearly enough. Dint, your answer was unreadable.

Put it away, Plectrum! If I see it once more this period, Plectrum, I shall have to tweak you. Do you have a solicitor, Plectrum? You're lying, so I shall tweak you anyway. See me afterwards to be tweaked. Yes, isn't life tragic! Don't sulk, boy, for God's sake. Has matron seen those boils? Horrid little twerp.

Bland, German, Nancyboy, Potter, Undermanager: cribbing. Undermanager: answer upside down. Do you do it deliberately, Undermanager? You're a moron. A carbuncle on the backside of humanity.

Don't snigger, Babcock! It's not funny. Antony and Cleopatra is not a funny play. If Shakespeare had meant it to be funny, he would have put a joke in it. There is no joke in Antony and Cleopatra, you'd know that if you'd read it, wouldn't you, Babcock? Pest!

What play of Shakespeare's does have a joke in it? Anyone? The Comedy of Errors, for God's sake! The Comedy of Errors has the joke of two people looking like each other. Twice. It's not that funny, German. And the other Shakespearean joke is? Nibble? NIBBLE! Leave Orifice alone! What a lot.

Right, for the rest of this period you will write about Eanabobbis. Undermanager, just try and write Eanabobbis. Usual conditions, no conferring, no eating, no cheating, no looking out of windows, no slang, no slide rules. Use ink only, via a nib, if possible. You may use dividers, but not on each other.

Kossigan, you're in charge.

Rowan Atkinson: The Schoolmaster Sketch - Video

Saturday 11 April 2009

Divining you Future by Numbeology.

Step One. Take the date you want to analyse: 17/11/08
Step Two. Add the numbers together: 1+7+1+1+0+8=18
Step Three. Add the numbers of the result together: 1+8=9. (If necessary continue Step Three until a single figure is achieved.)
Step Four. Refer to the number chart below.

1.You are refused a loan, become a devout Buddhist and subsequently die of malnutrition under a bo tree.
2.You fall through a wormhole and emerge on a small planet in an adjacent universe where you are worshipped as a god.
3. A goatherd in Gondwanaland sees your face in a dream and gives up eating cheese before going to bed.
4. You discover the secret of time travel.
5. You develop an eating disorder, grow another head and appear as a contestant on Big Brother.
6. You encounter a rain of shrimps.
7. You fall off the edge of the world.
8. You discover the lost city of Atlantis.
9. A close friend suggests an interesting diversion with a falabella, a marigold and an ounce of snuff. You refuse.
10. You are abducted by aliens, but have no recollection afterwards.

Saturday 4 April 2009

Real doctor's notes - Amazing

The following quotes were taken from actual medical records, as dictated by physicians.

  • The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.
  • Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
  • Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
  • I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
  • She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.
  • Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
  • Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
  • Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
  • Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
  • By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.
  • Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
  • On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.
  • The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
  • The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
  • Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
  • Healthy-appearing decrepit 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
  • The patient refused an autopsy.
  • The patient has no past history of suicides.
  • The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
  • Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
  • The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant, with only a 40-pound weight gain in the past three days.
  • She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
  • Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
  • The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of fuel and crashed.
  • She is numb from her toes down.
  • The skin was moist and dry.
  • Patient was alert and unresponsive.
  • When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
  • She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
  • While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
  • I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
  • The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
  • Skin: somewhat pale, but present.
  • The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
  • Large brown stool ambulating the hall.
  • Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities

Saturday 28 March 2009

When graphic artists get bored

An apology

This is the first time I haven't made an entry in this blog on a Saturday, but I've been a bit busy with a wireless router.

Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible!

Tuesday 10 March 2009

Sunday 8 March 2009

A Twitter Glossary

A
>At reply or "@reply" - a tweet that is directed to a fellow Twitter user.  Can be a statement or question.

D
>Drunktwittering - Similar to drunk dialing.
>Dweet - Tweet sent while drunk

F
>Failwhale- the whale held up by birds and string that shows that Twitter has crashed.  In danger of extinction, but still seen from time to time.
>Friendapalooza - A scheduled burst of friend-adding on Twitter and other social networks. 

H
>Hash Tag - the "#" sign which allows Twitters users to group their tweet with a particular event or conversation.  The hash tag makes it easier to search that particular conversation on TwitterSearch. The hash tag is used like this: #pbwiki

I
>Iltwitterate - not understanding Twitter (coined by @jasonmitchener on January 1, 2009)

L
>Link - Tiny URL for Twitter Glossary http://tinyurl.com/2f9pq7

M
>Mistweet - A tweet one later regrets. See here: http://urltea.com/gs7

R
>ReporTwitters - bunch of journalists publishing 'reality style' tweets in conjunction with their articles.
>ReTweet - to re-post something that someone already posted to their Twitter stream. Usually proceeded with "RT" and "@username" at the beginning of the post to give credit to the person who originally posted.

S
>SnapTweet - snapping a mobile photo, uploading to Flickr, and using http://snaptweet.com to post it to your Twitter stream

T
>Twactor - someone who pretends to be a real life identity on Twitter.
>Twittcrastination - avoiding action while Twittering, procrastination enabled by Twitter use
>Twadd - To add someone as a friend - mutual followers.
>Twaggle - A gaggle of followers.
>Twals- people you become pals with via twitter (coined by @collmiller)
>Twaigslist - To sell something via twitter. Also Twebay.
>Twaiting - Twittering while waiting
>Twaffic - Twitter traffic.
>Twardware - Twitter hardware.
>Twashdot - News for twitterers. Stuff that doesn't matter.
>Twaunt - To taunt someone over twitter.
>Twead - To read a twitter.
>Twebay - To offer something for sale via twitter. Also Twaigslist.
>Tweekend - Spending your entire Saturday and Sunday reading and posting via Twitter. (coined by Kim M. Bayne )
>Tweeple - Twitter people, Twitter members, Twitter users
>Tweepish - Feeling sheepish or regretful about something you tweeted.
>Tweeps - Twitterites that follow each other from one social media/network to another.
>Twease - A person who teases people over Twitter.
>Tweet-back - Bringing a previous tweet conversation or reference back into the current conversation.
>Tweet-dropping - Eavesdropping on someone's else's Home Page in With Friends mode.
>Tweetaholism - the continued use of Twitter as an addiction that is difficult to control
>Tweeter - A user of Twitter (compare: Twitterer).
>Tweet - Not only a message on Twitter but another term for a Twitter user (often jokingly >mistaken for a Twit).
>Tweet Pushers - Writers (guest bloggers) whose ideas and suggestions that will be featured at The Wall Tweet Journal www.walltweetjournal.com
>Tweeterboxes - Twitterers who tweet too much
>Tweetheart - that special someone who makes your heart skip a beat
>Tweether - Where lost tweets go to die. coined by Damon Clinkscales
>TweetIn - When a group of twitterers agree to get together at a set time to twitter
>Tweet(ing) - The act of posting to Twitter
>Tweetard - A twitter retard.
>Tweets - Posts on Twitter by twitterers.
>Tweetsulted, Tweetsult - What do you think it means, you dumb twitterer?
>TweetUp - When twitterers meet in person in one's home nest. Example: Denver TweetUp in May. TweetUps - The meeting place for all Twitterers to TweetUp!.
>Tweory - Twitter as applied to theory.  Seehttp://tweory.pbwiki.com
>Twexplanation - Sending a nebulous tweet and having to explain it while offline from twitter.
>Twhepherd - The Twitter employee that finds and restores lost followers to your twaggle.
>Twittercal mass- A community that has achieved a critical mass of twitterers.
>Twibute - To pay tribute to s.o. on Twitter; to give praise, to make a compliment etc. (Example)
>Twideo-cronicity - When you're watching someone's videos and they are simultaneously leaving a comment or tweet for/at/about you.
>Twike - To ride a bike with twitter.
>TwinkedIn - Inviting friends made on Twitter to "connect with you on LinkedIn"
>Twis - To dis a fellow twitterer. Bad form.
>Twisticuffs - Fighting with a fellow twitterer over twitter.
>Twitch - When you tweet a typo causing you to tweet a correction before getting a load of replies. (coined by @MattPenner)
>Twiterature - Quotes from literature on twitter. Marked by #twiterature. It's a Thing.
>Twitosphere - Community of twitterers
>Twittastic - Fantastic, wonderful, superb; coined by the folks at Twitterholic when referring to their robots
>Twittcrastination - Twittering as a form of procrastination
>Twittduit - If you need to Tweet a friend that does not follow you, post a Twittduit asking your followers to pass a message.
>Twitter-Light Zone - Where you are when you return to Twitter after any time away and feel disoriented and lost.
>Twitterati - The glamorous A-List twitterer's everyone wants to follow.
>Twitterbate - To masturbate to another user's tweets.
>Twitterer - A user of Twitter (compare: Tweeter).
>Twittectomy - unfollowing friends
>Twittering - To send a Twitter message.
>Twitterish - Erractic behavior with short outbursts.
>Twitteritas - Women who play with their twitters.
>Twittfeinated, Twigged Out, Twired - To be so hyped up on twittering that you cannot sleep
>Twitterfly - Being a social butterfly on Twitter evidenced by extreme usage of @ signs.
>Twitterject - Interject your tweet into an existing tweet stream of conversation.
>Twitter-ku - Those who either post on both Twitter and Jaiku or load their Twitter feed into Jaiku.
>Twitterlibrium - The amount of following_me and followers_you is equal. Coined by @20sth . It's a Thing.
>TwitterLinkr - A service collecting the best links posted trough Twitter
>Twitterlooing - Twittering from a bathroom.
>Twitterloop - To be caught up with friend tweets and up on the conversation.
>Twittermob - An unruly and ragtag horde of people who descend on an ill-prepared location after a provocative Twitter message.
>Twittermaps - A mashup technology that lets Twitter users find each other using Google maps.
>Twitterpated - To be overwhelmed with Twitter messages.  Or to have a brief, but intense crush on another Twitter user.
>Twitterphoria - The elation you feel when the person you've added as a friend adds you back.
>Twitterrhea - The act of sending too many Twitter messages.
>Twitterrific and Twitteroo - Two services that let users post to Twitter using a Mac or PC.
>Twitterrific (2) - a really good Twitter thing
>Twitterstream - the twitter timeline (public or friends)
>Twittertories - Clusters of twittererers that follow and friend each other with little overlap with other clusters.
>Twittonary - dictionary of twitter terminology
Twittertude - Bad Twitter attitude. Or a state of being, like solitude only with other people present.
>Twittfessional - A confession made on Twitter
>Twitticisms - Witty tweets
>Twittilate - To arouse with tweets.
>Twittish - Too skittish to twitter.
>Twittsomnia - Twittering due to inability to sleep, thus compounding inability to sleep.
>Twittworking - Networking with Twitterites using Twitter
>Twixt and tween - Can't decide who or what to tweet
>Twhiner - A twitterer who only ever posts whiney, negative tweets
>Twode - To hack on the twitter API.
>Twofor - Replying to two unrelated twitter msgs with a single tweet
>TwoingTwoing - To twitter about wonderful things.
>Twlocked - To be twitter blocked - similar to writers block but with more stress
>Twoogle - Twitter as the human Google. Pose a question, get near-instantaneous results. The Wall Tweet Journal
>Tword - Words formed by appending "Tw" to the original word (like most words in this list).
>Twoops - When you accidentally send a private sms to Twitter
>Twoosh - A full 140 character twitter.
>Twopsies - When you drop things because you are twittering.
>Twouche - Someone acting like a big fat jerk via twitter.
>Twurvey - A survey sent out over Twitter
>Twype - To type a twitter

Saturday 7 March 2009

Mathemagic

This is not one of those waste of time things, it’s fun.

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to go out to eat (more than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)

3. Add 5

4. Multiply it by 50

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1759 1 …If you haven’t, add 1758. 2

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number

The first digit of this was your original number. (I.e., How many times you want to go out to restaurants in a week.)

The next two numbers are YOUR AGE ! —— (Oh YES, it is!)

THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2009) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS.

1 (Current year-250)
2 (Current year-251)

Saturday 28 February 2009

Chinese Astrology

Rat
Quick-witted. Loyal. Charming. Intelligent. Thrifty. Lucky Numbers: 1, 4, 5, 10, 11, 14, 41, 45, 51 and 54.

Ox
Good friends.  Patient. Loyal. Caring. Stable. Sensible. Lucky Numbers: 1, 3, 5, 12, 15, 33, 35, 51 and 53.

Tiger
Charismatic. Courageous. Warm-hearted. Also can be jealous. Lucky Numbers: 4, 5, 7, 9, 13, 34, 44, 45 and 54.

Rabbit
Dislike arguments. Sociable. Diplomatic. Humble. Compassionate.Lucky Numbers: 1, 3, 5, 9, 15, 19 and 35.

Dragon
Self-assured. Flamboyant. Adaptable.Volatile. Lucky Numbers: 3, 4, 5, 6, 15, 21, 34, 35, 36 and 45.

Snake
Sophisticated. Good sense of humor. Secretive. Can be possessive. Lucky Numbers: 1, 2, 4, 6, 13, 24, 42 and 46.

Horse
Love travel. Energetic. Ambitious. Impatient. Lucky Numbers: 1, 3, 4, 8, 13, 14, 41 and 43.

Sheep / Goat
Creative. Artistic. Can at times be lazy. Often moody. Sensative. Lucky Numbers: 3, 4, 5, 12, 34, 45 and 54.

Monkey
Curious. Obstinate. Active. Manipulative. Lucky Numbers: 3, 4, 5, 7, 16, 23, 34, 45 and 54.

Rooster
Enthusiastic. Domineering. Devoted partners. Good parents. Lucky Numbers: 1, 5, 6, 12, 15, 16, 24 and 51.

Dog
Dutiful. Loyal. Honest. Faithful. Sincere. Faithful. Lucky Numbers: 1, 4, 5, 9, 10, 14, 19, 28, 30, 41, 45 and 54.

Pig
Trustworthy. Sincere. Tolerant. Chivalrous. Lucky Numbers: 1, 3, 4, 5, 8, 16, 18, 34, 41 and 48.

Click HERE for a good Chinese Astrology site.

Saturday 21 February 2009

The Swastika - A potted history

When you see a swastika you tend to assiciate it with Nazi Germany, but perhaps you shouldn't. The swastika had been around for thousands of years before the Nazi's 'borrowed' it.

The swastika has been used in India and Asia for thousands of years, and found its way to some surprising places:

  • The ancient city of Troy, in the northwest of present-day Turkey.
  • The Iron Age Koban culture of the Caucasus in Asia minor.
  • On prehistoric Vinca artefacts from South-Eastern Europe.
  • Amongst the ancient Hittites who lived in the area of present day Syria.
  • In Ein Gedi, near Israel's Dead Sea.
  • In the Tang Dynasty of China.
  • In the 13th Century Amiens Cathedral in France.
  • In ancient Greek architectural designs.
  • On Native American Indian artefacts including those of the Navajo and Hopi.
  • On pre-Christian Anglo-Saxon and Druidic artefacts.
The swastika was also used widely in the pre-Nazi twentieth century:
  • Dust-covers of books by Rudyard Kipling and other authors.
  • Boy Scouts' badges in Britain from 1911 to 1922.
  • Bank notes printed by the 1917 Russian Provisional Government.
  • Emblem of the British National War Savings Committee.
  • Planes of the Finnish Air force and Army from 1918 until 1944.
  • Latvian Air Force, 1918 until 1934.
  • The Icelandic Steamship Company, Eimskip, from 1914.
  • The Theosophical Society, founded in New York in 1875.

Saturday 14 February 2009

New World Order and all that

Does a MASTER PLAN to rule the world exist?

YES! It has been known and published in various forms since the Bavarian government circulated their famous report on the activities and plans of a secret organization called the Illuminati in the 1780's. It has to have been generations old in planning. George Washington spoke of a secret society called the "Illuminati" and this is what he had to say about this invisible power behind the throne which seeks to over-throw all forms of government so that they might inherit the earth:

"Reverend Sir: It was not my intention to doubt that the doctrine of the Illuminati and the principles of Jacobinism had not spread in the United States. On the contrary, no one is more satisfied of this fact than I am . . ." (U.S. Government Printing Office, 1941, Vol. 20)

In 1953 the California Senate Investigating Committee reported: "So-called modern Communism is apparently the same hypocritical and deadly conspiracy to destroy civilization that was founded by the secret order of the Illuminati in Bavaria on May 1, 1776, and that raised its hoary head in our colonies here as the critical period before the adoption of our Federal Constitution . . .

Since the official and highly organized founding of the Syndicate occurred in Europe in 1776, our isolated and founding nation was thus spared the main thrust of its tentacles until after our revolution occurred and our Constitution adopted."

Just three years after the Communists seized Russia, there was printed in the Illustrated Sunday Herald dated Feb. 8, 1920, the following statement by Winston Churchill about the Illuminati: "From the days of Sparticus - Weishaupt to those of Karl Marx, to those of Trotsky, Bela-Kuhn, Rosa Luxembourg and Emma Goldman, this world-wide conspiracy has been steadily growing. This conspiracy played a definitely recognizable role in the tragedy for the French Revolution. It has been the main-spring of every subversive movement in the 19th Century; and now at last this band of extraordinary personalities from the underworld of the great cities of Europe and America have gripped the Russian people by the hair of their heads, and have become practically the undisputed masters of that enormous empire." (A. Ralph Epperson, "The New World Order")

In January 1789 the Marquis de Luchet, horrified by the impending onslaught by the Illuminati, published the following before the fall of the Bastile to warn the people:

"Deluded people; You must understand that there exists a conspiracy in favor of despotism and against liberty, incapacity against talent, of vice against virtue, of ignorance against light! It is formed in the depths of the most impenetrable darkness, a society is to rule the world, to appropriate the authority of sovereigns, to usurp their place . . . Every species of error which afflicts the earth, every half-baked idea, every invention serves to fit the doctrines of the Illuminati . . . I see that all great fundamentals which society has made good use of to retain the allegiance of man - such as religion and law - will be without power to destroy an organization which has made itself a cult, and put itself above all human legislation. Finally, I see the release of calamities who end will be lost in the night of ages, activities devours the entrails of the globe and escapes into the air with a violent and devastating explosion."

The founder of the Illuminati, Adam Weishaupt had this to say, "The most wonderful thing of all is that the distinguished Lutheran and Calvinist theologians who belong to our order really believe that they see in it the true and genuine sense of Christian religion. O mortal man, is there nothing you cannot be made to believe."

He went on to write, "The true purpose of the order was to rule the world. To achieve this it was necessary for the order to destroy all religions, overthrow all governments and abolish private property . . . The strength of our order lies in its concealment, let it never appear in any place in its own name, but always covered by another name, and another occupation."

Caveat! - To be taken with a great deal of salt!

Saturday 7 February 2009

Some More Archaic Words

Archaic words.

Abaft - Toward or at the stern of a ship; Further aft
Afore - Before
Agone - Ago
Alack - Expression of sorrow or regret
Alee - On or toward the lee
Alow - Below
Amain - To a high degree; Exceedingly; at full speed
An - If
Anent - About; concerning
Anon - At once; immediately
Aright - Right; Correctly
Aroint - Begone
Athwart - Across; In opposition to; Sideways; Transversely
Aught - Anything at all; Something
Avaunt - Away; Hence
Aye - Yes
Beforetime - Formerly
Belike - Most likely; Probably
Betimes - In short time; Speedily
Betwixt - Between
Certes - In truth; Certainly
Clepe - To name; To call
Eft - Again; Afterwards
Festoons - Soon after
Egad - Mild oath
Eke - In addition; Also; Likewise
End long - Lengthwise
Enow - Enough
Ere - Before
Erelong - Before long; Soon
Erewhile - Until now
Eyne - Eyes
Fain - Happy; Inclined; Pleased
Fie - Expression of disgust or disapproval
Forby - Past; Near
Fore - At an earlier time or period
Forsooth - In truth; Indeed
Forthwith - Immediately
Forward - Turned away; Self-willed; Unreasonable; Perverse; Adverse
Gadzooks - Mild oath
Gar - Mild oath
Gardyloo - Warning cry
Gramercy - Expression of gratitude or surprise
Hark - To pay close attention; To listen
Heretofore - Until now
Heyday - Expression of elation or wonder
Hight - Named; Called; To command or call
Hist - Expression used to attract attention
Hither - To this place
Howbeit - Although
Ifsoever - If ever
Ilke - Kind or nature
Inly - Inwardly; Thoroughly
Iwis - Surely; Certainly
Lackaday - Expression of regret or deprecation
Lief - Soon; Gladly marry; Expression of surprised agreement
Maugre - In spite of
Mayhap - Perhaps
Meet - Fitting; Proper
Meseems - It seems to me
Methinks - I believe; I think
Nary - Not a one; Not at all
Natheless - Nevertheless; Notwithstanding
Needs - Of necessity; Necessarily
Nigh - Nearly; Almost
Nowise - Not at all
Od - Mild oath
Or - Before
Parcel - Partly
Pardie - Mild oath; Certainly or truly
Parfay - By my faith; Verily
Peradventure - Perhaps; Possibly; By adventure; By chance
Prithee - Expression of wish or request
Puissant - Powerful; Mighty
Quotha - Expression of surprise or contempt
Rede - To counsel or advise
Ruth - Pity; Remorse; Sorrow
Semovedly - Separately
Siege - Seat or throne
Sith - Since
Somedeal - Somewhat
Some whither - To some place; Somewhere
Sooth - Truth; Reality; In truth
Soothfast - Truthful; Honest; Faithful
Smoothly - In truth; Truly
Speed - Prosperity; Success
Strait - Strict; Rigorous; Constricted
Sweven - Vision seen in sleep; A dream
Swink - To toil; To labour
Swith - Instantly; Quickly
Swoopstake - In an indiscriminate manner
Teen - Injury; Grief
Thereinto - Into that or it
Thereon - Thereupon
Therewith - Thereupon; Forthwith
Therewithal - Besides
Thither - To that place
Thole - To endure; To suffer
Thro - Through
Tother - The other
Twain - Two
Twixt - Between
Usward - Toward us
Verily - Truly; Certainly; Confidently
Wanion - Ill luck; Misfortune
Weed - Garment or outfit worn during mourning
Well away - Expression of sorrow or lamentation; Alas
Whenas - When
Whencesoever - From whatsoever place or source
Where against - Against which
Whereinsoever - In whatsoever respect or place
Whereinto - Into which; Into what
Whereof - Of what
Whereon - On what
Whereout - Out of which
Where through - Through which; Through the agency of
Whereuntil - To what
Wherewith - With what
Whatsoever - Every one that
Whilom - Formerly; Once; Former
Whither - To what place
Whithersoever - To any place whatsoever
Whitherward - Toward what or which place
Whosoever - Every one who
Wist - To know
Withal - Besides; Therewith; Nevertheless; With
Wood - Mad; Insane; Wild
Yare - Marked by quickness and agility; Nimble; Prepared; Easily handled
Yede - To go
Yoicks - Expression of surprise or excitement
Yon - Yonder; That over there; those; Over there
Yonside - On the farther side of
Zounds - Mild oath

Saturday 31 January 2009

Removable media - How things have changed

Removable media - How things have changed!

Floppy discs date from around 1971 and can store 1.44 MB
Compact Discs (CD) date from around 1977 and can store 700MB
Digital Versatile Discs or Digital Video Discs (DVD) date from around 1995 and can store around 8.5 GB
Secure Digital (SD) cards date from around 2006 and can store up to 32 GB. (And getting bigger all the time!)

Saturday 24 January 2009

If anyone asks you what Pi is, you can tell them

3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481117450284102701938521105559644622948954930381964428810975665933446128475648233786783165271201909145648566923460348610454326648213393607260249141273724587006606315588174881520920962829254091715364367892590360011330530548820466521384146951941511609433057270365759591953092186117381932611793105118548074462379962749567351885752724891227938183011949129833673362440656643086021394946395224737190702179860943702770539217176293176752384674818467669405132000568127145263560827785771342757789609173637178721468440901224953430146549585371050792279689258923542019956112129021960864034418159813629774771309960518707211349999998372978049951059731732816096318595024459455346908302642522308253344685035261931188171010003137838752886587533208381420617177669147303598253490428755468731159562863882353787593751957781857780532171226806613001927876611195909216420198938095257201065485863278865936153381827968230301952035301852968995773622599413891249721775283479131515574857242454150695950829533116861727855889075098381754637464939319255060400927701671139009848824012858361603563707660104710181942955596198946767837449448255379774726847104047534646208046684259069491293313677028989152104752162056966024058038150193511253382430035587640247496473263914199272604269922796782354781636009341721641219924586315030286182974555706749838505494588586926995690927210797509302955321165344987202755960236480665499119881834797753566369807426542527862551818417574672890977772793800081647060016145249192173217214772350141441973568548161361157352552133475741849468438523323907394143334547762416862518983569485562099219222184272550254256887671790494601653466804988627232791786085784383827967976681454100953883786360950680064225125205117392984896084128488626945604241965285022210661186306744278622039194945047123713786960956364371917287467764657573962413890865832645995813390478027590099465764078951269468398352595709825822620522489407726719478268482601476990902640136394437455305068203496252451749399651431429809190659250937221696461515709858387410597885959772975498930161753928468138268683868942774155991855925245953959431049972524680845987273644695848653836736222626099124608051243884390451244136549762780797715691435997700129616089441694868555848406353422072225828488648158456028506016842739452267467678895252138522549954666727823986456596116354886230577456498035593634568174324112515076069479451096596094025228879710893145669136867228748940560101503308617928680920874760917824938589009714909675985261365549781893129784821682998948722658804857564014270477555132379641451523746234364542858444795265867821051141354735739523113427166102135969536231442952484937187110145765403590279934403742007310578539062198387447808478489683321445713868751943506430218453191048481005370614680674919278191197939952061419663428754440643745123718192179998391015919561814675142691239748940907186494231961567945208095146550225231603881930142093762137855956638937787083039069792077346722182562599661501421503068038447734549202605414665925201497442850732518666002132434088190710486331734649651453905796268561005508106658796998163574736384052571459102897064140110971206280439039759515677157700420337869936007230558763176359421873125147120532928191826186125867321579198414848829164470609575270695722091756711672291098169091528017350671274858322287183520935396572512108357915136988209144421006751033467110314126711136990865851639831501970165151168517143765761835155650884909989859982387345528331635507647918535893226185489632132933089857064204675259070915481416549859461637180270981994309924488957571282890592323326097299712084433573265489382391193259746366730583604142813883032038249037589852437441702913276561809377344403070746921120191302033038019762110110044929321516084244485963766983895228684783123552658213144957685726243344189303968642624341077322697802807318915441101044682325271620105265227211166039666557309254711055785376346682065310989652691862056476931257058635662018558100729360659876486117910453348850346113657686753249441668039626579787718556084552965412665408530614344431858676975145661406800700237877659134401712749470420562230538994561314071127000407854733269939081454664645880797270826683063432858785698305235808933065757406795457163775254202114955761581400250126228594130216471550979259230990796547376125517656751357517829666454779174501129961489030463994713296210734043751895735961458901938971311179042978285647503203198691514028708085990480109412147221317947647772622414254854540332157185306142288137585043063321751829798662237172159160771669254748738986654949450114654062843366393790039769265672146385306736096571209180763832716641627488880078692560290228472104031721186082041900042296617119637792133757511495950156604963186294726547364252308177036751590673502350728354056704038674351362222477158915049530984448933309634087807693259939780541934144737744184263129860809988868741326047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