Darknorth's tog blog: May 2008

Never take flowers from a grave or you will be the next to be in a grave.
You'll 'cut off' fortune if you use scissors on new years day
To spill ink threatens worry, annoyance, and the failure of a project that is on foot.
Coral beads are said to change color indicating whether the wearer is ill or well.
Stepping on board a ship with your left foot brings bad luck
Pick a dandelion that has gone to seed. Take a deep breath and blow the seeds into the wind. Count the seeds that remain on the stem. That is the number of children you will have.
If you go to the bathroom in the night with no clothes on, insects will fall on you
A spider on your clothes signifies money
An apple a day, keeps the doctor away.
A single magpie on a roof - The building will never fall down
If you say good-bye to a friend on a bridge, you will never see each other again.
Cutting your nails on a Friday brings bad luck
You must wear new clothes at Easter or you will have bad luck
Never take a broom with you when moving house - buy a new one.
If the palm of your right hand is itchy, then it foretells that money is coming to you, but don’t scratch it as that stops the money from coming! If it’s your left palm that is itchy, then scratch away, as that means that you'll soon be paying out money
If you see a chimney sweep then shake his hand so that some of his good luck rubs off onto you.
If, before you retire to bed, you chants Matthew, Mark, Luke and John Bless the bed that I lie on, it will keep away evil spirits and ensure your good health.
Seeing a single crow is very unlucky. But 2 mean good luck! 3 means health, 4 means wealth, 5 is sickness & 6 mean death!
To have one's garments caught up by a bush or briar when out walking is a promise of good luck, involving monetary gain.
Sparrows are said to carry the souls of the deceased to the after-life. To kill one means that you will be cursed.
If your ear is burning, then someone is talking about you. To determine whether what they are saying is good or bad, remember this rhyme, - Left for love, Right for spite!
Seeing a spider cross a wall - Good Luck
New enterprises will be fortunate if begun at the time of the new moon.
If you see a magpie, remember this rhyme - One for sorrow, Two for joy, Three for a girl, Four for a boy, Five for silver, Six for gold, Seven for a secret, Never to be told.
An itch inside your nose foretells bad luck
Bats flying close to a person - that person will be betrayed
How you start the year is how you will end it, so you must ensure that you are wearing new clothes & looking your best, have paid off all your debts & are with your partner (to ensure that you are still with them at the next New year). Also you must open
Welsh belief - A raven on a chimney is good luck to those within
Starting a cruise on a Friday brings bad luck
Dropping a pair of scissors is said to warn that a lover is unfaithful.
Finding a spider at midday - Anxiety
I t is lucky if by chance you meet the same person twice when you are out on business. It is even luckier if you encounter him once when you are setting out and again when you are returning.
Never place shoes on a table as it means bad luck for the remainder of the day.
A wish made on the first robin of spring will be granted.
Dolphins swimming nearby a ship bring good luck.
Breaking a mirror means seven years of bad luck, unless you take the pieces outside & bury them in moonlight. Also, an undisturbed mirror in a house suddenly fall & smashes then it means that there will soon be a death.
A dog howling for no reason indicates unseen spirits.
Putting a hat on a bed brings bad luck.
You must knock on wood 3 times after mentioning good fortune or the evil spirits will ruin things for you.
Sheep sitting still on the grass foretell fine weather.
A naked woman on board a boat is said to calm the seas.
Don’t wash clothes on New Year’s Day, or somebody in your family will pass away.
Seeing a single magpie foretells bad luck
If a bee enters your home, it's a sign that you will soon have a visitor. If you kill the bee, you will have bad luck, or the visitor will be unpleasant.
If the head of a bed is placed towards the north it foretells a short life, towards the south a long life, the east riches, the west travel.
One's life is prolonged if, in later years, a visit is made to one's place of birth.
Sheep walking about and bleating foretell bad weather.
If you burn beef bones by mistake it is a sign of much sorrow to come on account of poverty. To burn fish or poultry bones indicates that scandal will be spread about you.
See a penny, pick it up; all day long you will have good luck.
Stepping on cracks in the pavement brings bad luck.
To cut bread in an uneven manner is a sign that you have been telling lies.
A shepherd counting his flock foretells bad luck.
The best time for cutting one's corns is when the moon is on the wane.
By owning a rabbit's foot as a talisman, you would have vital connections with many powerful forces.
If a front door does not face the street, ill luck will attend the house. You should always close a front door with your face towards it.
To let fall an egg and smash it foretells good news; but if the egg is undamaged or merely cracked, bad luck is to be feared. When you have finished eating an egg it is a safeguard against misfortune if the empty shell is crushed with a spoon. If you burn eggshells, the hens will cease to lay. It is unlucky to take eggs out of, or bring them into, a house during the hours of darkness. Eggs laid on Good Friday never become stale.
A devil's coach horse beetle raising it's tail brings a curse.
When eating a fish, you should begin at the tail and work towards the head.
Crossing two table-knives by accident portends bad luck or an argument.
To cross two forks accidentally is a sign that slander will be spread about you. To drop a fork foretells the visit of a woman friend. To stir anything with a fork is to stir up misfortune.
Seagulls seen far inland foretell bad weather.
It is a warning of treachery if a person's garter comes undone. If a girl loses a garter, a proposal of marriage at an early date is foretold.
Three seagulls flying together, directly overhead, are a warning of death soon to come.
If you knock your hand accidentally against a piece of wood or a wooden article, it is an indication that you are about to have a love affair. If you knock your hand against iron, however, it must be taken as a warning against treachery.
Killing a seagull brings bad luck
Tying a knot in one's handkerchief is a means of warding off evil.
Hanging a snake skin from the rafters brings protection from fire.
Finding a horseshoe is an assurance of good luck, but if you give it away or throw it away, your luck will leave you.
A single magpie circling the house is a portent of death
If after leaving your house, you turn back to fetch something, you must sit down when you get indoors and count backwards from seven, in order to avoid ill luck. It is unlucky to move into a new house during the months of April, July, and November.
A snake crossing your path is unlucky.
If someone is lying dangerously ill, a lighted candle should be placed in a shoe, and all other lights in the room turned out. Then the name of the complaint from which the person is suffering must be written on a piece of paper and burned in the candle flame, and at the same time the following rhyme should be said three times: Go away death! Go away death! Life from the flame Give new breath I the candle must then be snuffed with the fingers.
Carrying a snake skin brings protection against illness.
The dropping of a knife foretells the visit of a man friend in the near future.
Seeing an owl during daylight foretells bad luck,
If someone lends you a pocket-knife, return it in the way in which it was given; that is, with the blade open or shut, pointing away from you or towards you.
Carrying a snake's tooth brings protection against fever and luck in gambling.
Lightning will never strike a person when he is asleep, nor will it visit a house in which a fire is burning.
Walking under a ladder signifies bad luck - A leaning ladder forms a triangle with the wall and ground. Triangles represent the Holy Trinity, and violating the Trinity by breaking it (walking through it) would put you in league with the devil himself.
The days of the week on which it is considered most lucky for women to make any important decision or to undertake any great tasks are Tuesday and Friday. For men the fortunate days are Monday and Thursday.
Sneezing 3 times before breakfast foretells good luck.
To spill matches is a very lucky sign, and if a girl accidentally upsets an entire box it will not be long before she becomes a bride. Crossing two matches by chance implies that joy and happiness await you.
Greeting a magpie is said to remove the bad omens it brings.
If an eyelash falls out, put it on the back of the hand, make a wish and throw it over your shoulder. If it flies off the hand the wish will be granted.
When you have occasion to turn the mattress of a bed remember that if you turn it from foot to head, you'll never wed, and also that this task should never be performed on a Friday.
To make a present of a knife or any other sharp instrument brings bad luck unless you receive something in exchange.
If pepper is spilt, then you will have a serious argument with a friend.
If a girl's petticoat or slip shows below her dress, she is loved more by her father than by her mother.
Giving away a wedding present brings bad luck.
If you give anyone an empty purse he will never be blessed with riches. Place a coin inside it for luck.
By eating salted owl, a person can be cured of gout.
Breaking one blade of a pair of scissors is an omen of quarreling and discord; if both blades are broken at once; a calamity is to be feared. Scissors should always be sold; they should never be given.
People once believed the soul could escape from the body when a person sneezed. To stop this from happening, people ask God to bless and so to protect the person who sneezes.
A seventh son possesses many talents and is predestined for worldly success. The seventh son of a seventh son is gifted with the art of healing. The seventh daughter of a seventh daughter possesses the power of second sight.
Never pour water into a tumbler which already holds some, for it is an invitation to evil spirits to visit you.
If someone is sweeping the floor and sweeps over your feet, you'll never get married.
Knock on Wood - It was believed that good spirits lived in trees, and that by knocking on anything made from wood, we could call upon these spirits for protection against misfortune.
Mandrake is a mysterious plant believed to have powers of preventing sterility in men and animals, causing barren women to bear children, and compelling love.
If you do not present a new pair of shoes to a poor person at least once during your life, you will go barefoot in the next world.
It brings ill fortune if a lease or any contract is signed in the months of April, July, or November.
If your shoelace persists in coming untied, take it as an omen that you are about to receive a fortunate letter or some kind of good news.
Wearing an emerald brings protection against snake bites.
If soot bums in a ring at the back of the grate, pleasure and happiness are on their way to you.
A cat onboard a ship is considered to bring luck.
Killing the first wasp of the season brings good luck.
Malice and envy are to be feared when sparks jump out of the fire.
To upset pepper brings bad luck.
Dropping a spoon means that a child or young person is going to call on you. To cross a spoon over fork presages happiness cut short by grief.
Sparrows carry the souls of the dead, so it's unlucky to kill one.
To put on your stockings or socks inside out is an omen that you will shortly receive a present. If your stocking comes down, your lover is thinking of you.
To give a pair of gloves to a friend unless you receive something in exchange brings bad luck.
When a bell rings, a new angel has received his wings.
If thirteen people sit down to dine, the last to rise will meet with ill fortune.
A robin flying into the house brings good luck.
To wash in water, which has been previously used by someone else means that you will quarrel with him, unless you clasp your hands together over the water when you have finished.
Killing a sparrow means that the tree it lived in will die.
Women should not whistle, for it encourages evil spirits to visit them.
Opening an umbrella indoors brings bad luck.
When you are talking to someone, and if you should both happen to say the same word or sentence at the same time, you must each clasp the other's little finger and wish. Then, if you do not disclose your wish, it will be fulfilled.
To see the new moon for the first time through glass brings bad luck. Upon seeing the new moon you should turn whatever silver you have in your pockets or handbag, and thus ensure prosperity for a month.
People with hiccups were once thought to be possessed by the devil.
It is bad luck to completely rake out a fire before retiring. A few embers should always be left.
Three butterflies together mean good luck.
Watching someone else yawn makes you yawn.
Fingers Crossed: By making the sign of the Christian faith with our fingers, evil spirits would be prevented from destroying our chances of good fortune.
Spit on your hands for strength. This originated from seeing animals lick their wounds, making people think saliva had some magical healing power.
Hearing a sparrow call foretells rain.
To get rid of a cough, take a hair from the coughing persons head, put it in between two slices of buttered bread, feed it to the dog, and say - eat well you hound. May you be sick and I be sound.
If a groom drops the ring during the ceremony then the marriage is doomed to failure.
Never take a broom along when you move. Throw it out and buy a new one.
A loaf of bread should never be turned upside down after a slice has been cut from it.
To stop cramps, carry certain animal bones on your body. Another cure is to lay your shoes on your stomach, across the cramp.
It is unlucky to kill spiders because a spider spun a web over baby Jesus to hide him from Herod.
Cross your fingers to make a wish. Bad luck is trapped at the point where the two fingers meet so when we cross our fingers, we stop the bad luck from escaping and allow our wishes to come true.
You'll meet a new friend if you run into a web.
Fingernail clippings must not be left behind. Fingernails can be used to cast spells on their owner, so they must never be left around for the evil spirits to find. They should be burned or buried instead.
If bird droppings land on your head it is good luck.
An acorn should be carried to bring luck and ensure a long life.
When making the bed, don't interrupt your work, or you will spend a restless night in it.
Getting out of bed left foot first brings bad luck.
Amber beads, worn as a necklace, can protect against illness or cure colds.
A spider is a repellent against plague when worn around the neck in a walnut shell.
If you cut an apple in half and count how many seeds are inside, you will also know how many children you will have.
It is unlucky to sit on a table unless one foot is touching the ground.
Spit on a new bat before using it for the first time to make it lucky.
If you make a bedspread, or a quilt, be sure to finish it or marriage will never come to you.
Yawning is caused by the devil so evil spirits enter your body when your mouth is wide open. Covering your mouth stops the evil spirits.
A swarm of bees settling on a roof is an omen that the house will burn down.
Storks deliver babies.
The sound of bells drives away demons because they're afraid of the loud noise.
If you sweep rubbish out the door after dark, it will bring a stranger to visit.
It is bad luck to encounter a gravedigger coming towards you. Usually this means there will be a severe illness.
If you blow out all the candles on your birthday cake with the first puff you will get your wish.
If you eat a live toad first thing in the morning nothing worse will happen to you all day. (!)
The Blarney Stone is a stone set in the wall of the Blarney Castle tower in the Irish village of Blarney. Kissing the stone is supposed to bring the kisser the gift of persuasive eloquence - blarney.
Spilling Salt - Salt used to be an expensive commodity used mainly for medicinal purposes. For this reason, spillage was to be avoided at all costs. The idea that it is unlucky to do so probably stems from the belief that Judas spilt salt during the last supper. Throwing spilt salt over the left shoulder is linked to its medicinal use. If it could not be administered, the next best thing was to throw it into the eye of the evil spirits that brought sickness upon us. These spirits were thought to lurk behind your shoulder, waiting for an opportunity to strike.
To protect yourself from witches, wear a blue bead.
Carrying a dried toad brings protection against plague.
Before slicing a new loaf of bread, make the sign of the cross on it.
You must get out of bed on the same side that you get in or you will have bad luck.
Do not lean a broom against a bed. The evil spirits in the broom will cast a spell on the bed.
To break a glass bottle portends misfortune.
To prevent an unwelcome guest from returning, sweep out the room they stayed in immediately.
To predict the sex of a baby: Suspend a wedding band held by a piece of thread over the palm of the pregnant girl. If the ring swings in an oval or circular motion the baby will be a girl. If the ring swings in a straight line the baby will be a boy.
If the first butterfly you see in the year is white, you will have good luck all year.
If a candle lighted as part of a ceremony blows out, it is a sign that evil spirits are nearby.
Rabbits were linked with darkness, witches and the devil because they live underground.
If the first calf born during the winter is white, the winter will be a bad one.
Breaking a plate, especially if it had not already been cracked indicates bad luck.
Keep cats away from babies because they "suck the breath" of the child.
If you get a chill up your back or goosebumps, it means that someone is walking over your grave.
It is bad luck to light three cigarettes with the same match. (Modern science says it's bad luck to light just one!)
White horses foretell ill fortune.
Evil spirits can't harm you when you stand inside a circle.
If a clock which has not been working suddenly chimes, there will be a death in the family.
A dog eating grass foretells rain.
Clover protects people and animals from the spell of magicians and the wiles of fairies, and brings good luck to those who keep it in the house.
If a person stumbles when leaving his house at the beginning of a journey, or trips or stumbles more than once during the course of the journey, it is advisable to postpone it.
It's bad luck to pick up a coin if it's tails side up. Good luck comes if it's heads up.
Violets blooming out of season foretell bad luck.
To drop a comb while you are combing your hair is a sign of a coming disappointment.
Cows lifting their tails is a sure sign that rain is coming.
A bird that flies into a house foretells an important message.
The number of Xs in the palm of your right hand is the number of children you will have.
Meeting 3 sheep foretells good luck.
Two people pull apart the dried breastbone of a chicken or turkey until it cracks and breaks, each one making a wish while doing so. The person who gets the long half of the wishbone will have his or her wish come true.
Looking at the new moon over your right shoulder brings good luck.
A knife as a gift from a lover means that the love will soon end.
If you make a wish while throwing a coin into a well or fountain, the wish will come true.
The blossom must never be cut from the tree and brought into the house before May 1, or ill fortune will attend you.
A watermelon will grow in your stomach if you swallow a watermelon seed.
A picture falling foretells bad luck.
An onion cut in half and placed under the bed of a sick person will draw off fever and poisons.
A bride's veil protects her from evil spirits who are jealous of happy people.
A four-leaf clover brings good luck
If a woman sees a robin flying overhead on Valentine's Day, it means she will marry a sailor. If she sees a sparrow, she will marry a poor man and be very happy. If she sees a goldfinch, she will marry a millionaire.
Spilling wine while proposing a toast foretells good luck.
Dropping an umbrella on the floor means that there will be a murder in the house.
Seeing a white bird foretells death.
If you bite your tongue while eating, it is because you have recently told a lie.
Changing a horse's name brings very bad luck.
All wishes on shooting stars come true.
A kitten born in May is a witches cat.
You sleep best with your head to the north and your feet to the south.
To pass anyone on the staircase brings bad luck.
If you sing before seven, you will cry before eleven.
Drinking milk from a bowl from which a ferret has drunk is a cure for whooping cough. Also inhaling a horses breath cures whooping cough
Salty soup is a sign that the cook is in love.
Two blackbirds sitting together is a good omen.
Rosemary planted by the doorstep will keep witches away.
Cows lying down in a field foretell rain.
If you leave a rocking chair rocking when empty, it invites evil spirits to come into your house to sit in the rocking chair.
Putting a dress on inside out foretells good luck.
Mandrake is thought to have aphrodisiac and fertilizing properties.
A wish made upon seeing the first robin in spring will come true, but only if you complete the wish before the robin flies away.
Nine peas in a pea pod foretell good luck.
A red ribbon should be placed on a child who has been sick to keep the illness from returning..
A rainbow in the Eastern sky, The morrow will be fine and dry. A rainbow in the West that gleams, Rain tomorrow falls in streams.
Hearing crickets singing foretells good luck.
If you use the same pencil to take a test that you used for studying for the test, the pencil will remember the answers.
New shoes should never be left on a table
It is bad luck to see an owl in the sunlight.
Unless you were born in October, it's unlucky to wear opals.
A wish will come true if you make it while burning onions.
A bat flying into the house foretells bad luck.
If your nose itches, someone is coming to see you. If it's the right nostril, the visitor will be a female, left nostril, male.
Always pick up a pin when you see one lying on the floor, for See a pin and pick it up All the day you'll have good luck; See a pin and let it lie Luck will surely pass you by. To upset a box of pins foretells a surprise, so long as some of them are left.
A white moth inside the house or trying to enter the house means death.
Breaking a glass while proposing a toast foretells bad luck.
Mistletoe in the house protects it from thunder and lightning.
Meeting a dog foretells good luck (especially Dalmatians).
A mirror should be covered during a thunderstorm because it attracts lightning.
Never mend a garment while you are wearing it, or misfortune will follow.
It is unlucky to see your face in a mirror by candlelight. But - If you stare into a mirror by candlelight you will see the spirit of a lost loved one.
Singing before breakfast brings bad luck.
A knife placed under the bed during childbirth will ease the pain of labor.
It's bad luck to let milk boil over.
Dropping a glove foretells good luck.
Clairvoyants use mandrake to increase their visions to enable them to see strange and wonderful things.
To cure a sty, stand at a crossroads and recite “Sty, sty, leave my eye, take the next one coming by.
An albatross flying around a ship in mid ocean foretells bad weather.
It's bad luck to say the word pig while fishing at sea.
To dream of a lizard is a sign that you have a secret enemy.
An owl hooting 3 times foretells bad luck
Lettuce promotes child bearing if eaten by young women, and certain types of salad can bring on labor in pregnant women. Also lettuce is believed to have magical and healing properties, including the power to arouse love and counteract the effects of wine.
A bird call from the north means tragedy; from the south is good for crops; from the west is good luck; from the east, good love.
If you catch a falling leaf on the first day of autumn you will not catch a cold all winter.
A cricket in the house brings good luck.
Counting Crows: One's bad, Two's luck, Three's health, Four's wealth, Five's sickness, Six is death.
If you fasten a button into the wrong buttonhole it foretells bad luck.
It's bad luck to leave a house through a different door than the one used to come into it.
Horse brasses protect horses from witches
If your right ear itches, someone is speaking well of you. If your left ear itches, someone is speaking ill of you.
Peacock feathers bring good luck.
Pictures of an elephant bring luck, but only if they face a door.
If your right eye twitches there will soon be a birth in the family. If the left eye twitches there will soon be a death in the family.
Cutting your hair during a storm brings good luck.
Dream of fish: someone you know is pregnant.
Putting a shirt on inside out brings bad luck
Throw back the first fish you catch then you'll be lucky the whole day fishing. Also if you count the number of fish you caught, you will catch no more that day.
Looking at the new moon over your left shoulder brings bad luck.
You should never start a trip on Friday or you will meet misfortune.
It brings bad luck for a flag to touch the ground.
Bats in a church during a wedding ceremony foretell bad omen
First Flower of Spring: The day you find the first flower of the season can be used as an omen: Monday means good fortune, Tuesday means greatest attempts will be successful, Wednesday means marriage, Thursday means warning of small profits, Friday means wealth, Saturday means misfortune, Sunday means excellent luck for weeks.
A greyhound with a white spot on its forehead foretells good fortune
If the bottom of your right foot itches, you are going to take a trip.
Sleeping facing south - Good luck.
It is bad luck to put on the left shoe before the right, and it is worse still to put the right shoe on the left foot, or vice versa.
If a young girl catches a ladybird and then releases it, the direction in which it flies away will be the direction from which her future husband will come.
White heather brings good luck.
If a bird poops on your car, it is good luck.
Ivy growing on a house protects the inhabitants from witchcraft and evil.
A 5-leaf clover brings bad luck.
A horseshoe hung in the bedroom will keep nightmares away.
Picking up a pencil in the street brings good luck.
Pulling out a gray or white hair will cause ten more to grow in its place.
Shed no blood on Good Friday, work no wood, hammer no nail. A person who dies on Good Friday will go right to heaven. Cut your hair on Good Friday to prevent headaches in the year to come A child born on Good Friday and baptized on Easter Sunday has a gift of healing. If a boy, he should go into the ministry.
Eating a hair from a horse's forelock is a cure for worms
The dried body of a frog worn in a silk bag around the neck averts epilepsy and other fits.
Breaking clear and uncolored glass brings good luck.
A frog brings good luck to the house it enters.
Being followed by a strange dog - bad luck (especially black dogs) (The spectral black dog (barguest) is a harbinger of death).
Never start to make a garment on Friday unless you can finish it the same day.
Red and white flowers together bring bad luck.
Bats in the house mean either a death or a sign that the humans will soon be leaving.
People say that spirits could not walk upon a path, so after dark don't leave the path/road.
To see an adder - general bad luck.
Walking in the rain brings good luck,
If you wash your face in the dew on the morning of the first of May, and you will either see faeries or see your future spouse.
Sleeping on un-ironed sheets brings good luck.
If you are ever in an accident, you should be wearing clean underwear.
Horses standing with their backs to a hedge foretell rain.
The groom should never see the bride the eve of their wedding or their marriage will fail.
Throwing stones into the sea cause bad luck.
If you put a broom outside your door, a witch will have to count each strand before entering your house and by then it will be dawn and time to stop the witching.
If a candle falls over it brings bad luck.
Christians used to think that lightening bolts were thrown at them by devils.
If you secretly put your toenail clippings in a glass of lemonade and make someone drink it, then that person is supposed to fall in love with you.
Don't watch an animal defecating or you'll get a stye on your eye.
A red-tipped match will cure a case of the hiccups.
A wedding ring: An ancient symbol of completion, far older than the Christian religion. The ring signifies that which does not end or begin but it a circle of forever
An itch on the top of your head foretells good luck.
Counting a person's teeth robs them of one year of life for every tooth counted, this is why some people cover their mouths when they laugh, smile or yawn.
If an owl is staring at your house, someone there will die.
A bed changed on Friday will bring bad dreams.
Clink two glasses of alcohol to scare the demon out of the alcohol.
Hearing a rooster crow at night foretells bad luck.
It is bad luck to put up a calendar early or write in next year's diary before the New Year.
A ladybird on you foretells good luck.
If a bat gets in your hair you are possessed by the Devil.
If a single pigeon sits on your roof someone close is going to die soon.
Friday the Thirteenth - The Scandinavian's believed that the number 13 was unlucky due to the mythological 12 demigods being joined by a 13th, an evil one, who brought misfortune upon humans. It was also said that Christ was crucified on Friday and the number of guests at the party of the Last Supper was 13, with the 13th guest being Judas, the traitor.
A loud ticking from a clock means that a death is coming in the house soon.
To pick up a piece of coal that has fallen in your path brings good luck.

Think that you’ve been hard done to by the parking authorities? Well, wait until you have read these extraordinary tales…

1. Trucking ridiculous

It was a normal day for truck driver Michael Collins, who was on his way to collect a skip in London’s Belsize Park. But then, without warning, his truck lurched as the road beneath him collapsed. Unbeknown to Michael, a burst water main had caused the road to give way, creating a deep hole where the front wheels of his 17-tonne truck became stuck.

While he was waiting for his lorry to be rescued, a passing parking attendant appeared. To the astonishment of nearby residents and despite Michael’s protests, she stood on tiptoe and whacked a parking ticket on the trucks windscreen, uttering the immortal words, “You can appeal”. (See picture above).

2. Bad news comes in trees

If a tree fell on your car and you escaped death by mere inches, you might think that you would get some sympathy from your local council. Sadly, no such compassion was forthcoming when one family suffered just such a fate under the parking Taliban of Wychavon District Council

Nicky Clegg from Stoulton, near Pershore, was driving along the Bromwich Road with her 82-year-old mother and her 11-year-old son when without warning a tree crashed on her car. Miraculously they escaped death but the car ended up with a crushed bonnet, smashed windscreen and broken wing mirrors.

Police dragged the wrecked car to the side of the road and told Nicky that it was fine to leave it there and she could pick it up the following day. But when Nicky came back the next day, she was astonished to find a parking ticket on the window.

3. Feeling run down?

Think that being badly injured is an excuse to park illegally? Think again. When Nadhim Zahawi of South London was thrown from his scooter and left lying in the road with a broken leg, a heartless warden from Lambeth Council slapped a £100 ticket on his bike.

4. Horse play

You leave your horse in the street and what do you expect to find when you get back? A small pile of manure perhaps, but not a parking ticket. Amazingly, however, this is exactly what happened to Robert McFarland, a retired blacksmith from Yorkshire when he left his trusty steed, Charlie Boy, for a few brief moments. On the ticket, the over-zealous warden had written the vehicle description as “brown horse”.

5. Daylight robbery

It started off just like any other day for Fred Holt when he went to his local bank. But the ordinary day turned extraordinary when two masked men burst into the bank brandishing an axe and a machete. In the terrifying raid, the robbers held a young cashier hostage with an axe to her throat. Customers were forced to lie on the floor as staff were made to hand over cash.

If being a victim of this horrifying event wasn’t bad enough, 77 year old Mr Holt had parked his car nearby, and by the time he had given a statement to police officers, his car had been there for 20 minutes longer than allowed.

Mr. Holt was not worried because the police officers who interviewed him said that traffic wardens had been told about the raid and asked not to issue tickets. But when Mr Holt got back to his car he was astounded to find a £30 parking ticket pinned to his windscreen – the reason: overstaying his allowed time in the street.

6. Bloody ridiculous

“Do Something Amazing Today” runs the slogan of the National Blood Service. In Sutton, a traffic warden did just that, though not along the lines of “Save a life. Give Blood” that the advert intended.

For four years, a mobile National Blood Service truck has visited Sutton, parking at the same spot outside a group of offices, so volunteers can give blood. But seeing the good citizens of the town turn up and exchange a pint of the red stuff in return for a cup of tea and a biscuit was too much of a temptation for one parking attendant. Whilst those inside were giving blood, the parking attendant gave in his own unique way – in the form of a parking ticket.

Sutton council eventually waived the fine, saying the parking attendant had made a simple error of judgment. Or to put it more aptly, a rush of blood to the head.

7. Bus(ted)

Picture the situation. You’re a bus driver. You’re driving your bus. You see a queue of people waiting for you at a bus stop. You pull over to pick them up. So far, so good. But wait, not everyone wants to buy a ticket. This chap in the queue wants to give you one instead…

This was the extraordinary scene that greeted Manchester bus driver Chris O’Mahony, when he stopped his number 77 bus to let people on. He and his passengers looked on in absolute disbelief as the Manchester City Council parking attendant joined the queue to prepare the parking ticket, deposited the £40 notice and then walked away. The bus driver’s crime? Parking in a restricted area.

The attendant said he'd been told to issue tickets to buses that park. Manchester City Council bosses cancelled the ticket and ordered the warden to be retrained. Hopefully, as something other than a warden.

8. Heart attack

Whilst David Holmes was driving along he felt chest pains. So he immediately drove himself to hospital. When he arrived he was forced to park on the road and was treated for a heart attack. A kind nurse left a note on the windscreen saying it was an emergency and that David's daughter would pick the car up later. Despite the note, a pitiless parking attendant slapped a parking ticket on David’s car.

Despite an appeal to the local council, the £40 fine was not cancelled.

9. Welcome to Warwickshire

Warwick is a beautiful part of England but it had no appeal for one man who received a parking ticket from the local Council.

Krister Nylander was dismayed to receive a parking ticket in the post for parking in Warwick. But he knew the parking ticket was wrong because he lives in Sweden and had not visited England since he was 16. The offending vehicle was his 20-ton snowmobile which had barely ever left his barn, let alone Sweden.

How did it get the ticket? We’ve absolutely no Ikea.

10. Driving you crazy

Driving instructors are used to the trials and tribulations of teaching people to drive. Three point turns, as we all know, can be very tricky to learn. So spare a thought for the driving instructor who got a CCTV parking ticket when his pupil stalled whilst attempting a three-point turn and could not restart the car. The offence? Parking more than 50 centimetres from the kerb.

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