What your morning paper says about YOU...

The Times is read by the people who run the country.

The Guardian is read by the people who know things would be better for everyone if they were running the country.

The Daily Telegraph is read by the people who remember how they used to run the country (and the empire).

The Financial Times is read by the people who own the country.

The Independent is read by the people who do not know who runs the country but they are sure they are doing it wrong.

The Daily Mail is read by the spouses of the people who are running the country.

The Daily Express is read by the people who think the country should be run the way it used to be.

The Daily Mirror is read by the people who know that they, the working class, really run the country.

The Star is read by the people who think the Sun is a bit too upmarket.

The Sun is read by the people who don't care who runs the country, as long as they do it topless.

The Sport is read by the people who think that Elvis is running the country from his secret lunar bunker assisted by a team of topless aliens.