All will become clear...

...all in one basket.

So, you've got your touch screen, all singing - all dancing, envy inducing, super-duper, gotta have one, mobile phone. (There are a few now, apart from the popular one that starts with an 'i', or will be by the time you read this.)

It's great! It's got Youtube, it's got you Facebook account, it's got your e-mails, it's got your music, your photos, your appointments, your...

Then comes the fateful day... You're running a bath and you get an e-mail on your mobile. Your hands are soapy, and without thinking you get your mobile out of your pocket to get your e-mail and - SPLASH! - your mobile phone ends up in the soapy water. So you won't be listening to your music, looking at the Internet or getting your e-mails for a some time, at least not on your mobile.

Ok, perhaps that's an unrealistic scenario, but there are others... So, you get a text message one day, press the button for texts and your mobile crashes. You reset it and try again, and again, with the same result. So because one small part (or program) on your mobile doesn't work, you're going to be without all the other things it can do until you get it fixed.

Sometimes it doesn't pay to have all your eggs in one basket.

There's a golden rule here which seems more and more appropriate as we get deeper into the Internet, and technology in general:-

"Just because you want to, just because you can, doesn't mean you should."

The eggs...

A natural remedy

Product warnings

"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.

"Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.

"Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.

"Caution: This is not a safety protective device." -- On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn.

"Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter.

"May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray.

"Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock."

"Caution! Contents hot!" -- On a Domino's Pizza box.

"Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup.

"Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee.

"Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.

"For use on animals only." -- On an electric cattle prod.

"For use by trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener.

"Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror.

"Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone.

"Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth." -- On the label of a bottled drink.

"Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison.

"Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller.

"Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for a Rowenta iron.

"Do not drive car or operate machinery." -- On Boot's children's cough medicine.

"For indoor or outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights.

"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -- On a child sized Superman costume.

"Do not turn upside down." -- On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box.

"Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw.

"Warning: May contain nuts." -- On a package of peanuts.

"Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills.

"Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.

"Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer.

"Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame.

"Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV.

I'm back

Yippeeeeeeee!

I'm back!

My computer has been out of action for the past week so I haven't been able to blog.

The only things that have saved me from dribbling insanity are:-

1. Wake up to Wogan podcasts and...
2. Red Dward.

There have been questions about chortling, giggling and the occasional titter coming from my room, but now I'm back, with a fully fumctional (fingers crossed!) computer.

Can numbers do magic?

A magic square is a square of numbers where all the rows and columns add up to the same number.

For example:

4 9 2 = 15
3 5 7 = 15
8 1 6 = 15
= = =
15 15 15

You may wish to try this on the squares below.

Albrecht Dürer's magic square in the drawing "Melancholia":-

16 3 2 13
5 10 11 8
9 6 7 12
4 15 14 1

Magic squares related to planets:- (In ancient astrology the Sun was regarded as a planet.)



Magic squares were used as talismans which were said to cure diseases and ensure success in business and in battle.

Also, this article in Wikipedia goes into more detail.

The lion sleeps tonight

Land of the free, home of the weird

It makes you wonder...

"I'm proud of George, He has learned such a lot ranching since the first year when he tried to milk a horse - A male horse." - Laura Bush, America's First Lady on here husband George W. Bush.

"I'm not worried about the deficit in the budget. It is big enough to look after itself." - Former President Ronald Reagan.

"I'm the Hiroshima of love" - Sylvester Stallone

"I have ordered that I be awakened at any time in case of a national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting." - Former President Ronald Reagan.

"If crime went down by 100% it would still be fifty times higher than it should be." - John Bowman, Washington DC Councilman.

Radioactive waste

The government has given the go-ahead for MORE nuclear power stations with "broad political support".

However, the nuclear waste created "will remain hazardous to humans and other living beings for hundreds of thousands of years" Wikipedia.

Was this really the best option for the environment, Mr Brown? Really???

If there are problems with the disposal of the waste it will not be Gordon Brown who will suffer, but our children, or our children's children or our children's children's children or... well you get the idea.

P. S. Did you like the kitten fight? Well now I know how to put Youtube videos on my blog I will put on more good stuff. Watch this space!

How to stop a kitten fight

The old rocking chair...

One day a man came home and found his grandfather sat on his rocking chair in the veranda - naked from the waist down. Rather perplexed, he asked the old man, "Why are you sitting there naked from the waist down? You'll catch your death of cold." So his grandfather explained, "Well, yesterday I sat here naked from the waist up and got a stiff neck... This is your grandmother's idea."

Colour symbolism

Now I've got a few posts under my belt I'll be posting less often to avoid burnout. Here's something to keep you going for now, again gleaned from the Internet.

Colour Symbolism

Red
Excitement, energy, passion, desire, speed, strength, power, heat, love, aggression, danger, fire, blood, war, violence, aggression, all things intense and passionate.

Yellow
Joy, happiness, optimism, idealism, imagination, hope, sunshine, summer, gold, philosophy, dishonesty, cowardice, betrayal, jealousy, covetousness, deceit, illness, hazard.

Blue
Peace, tranquillity, calm, stability, harmony, unity, trust, truth, confidence, conservatism, security, cleanliness, order, loyalty, sky, water, cold, technology, depression, appetite suppressant.

Orange
Energy, balance, warmth, enthusiasm, vibrant, expansive, flamboyant, demanding of attention.

Green
Nature, environment, healthy, good luck, renewal, youth, vigour, spring, generosity, fertility, jealousy, inexperience, envy, misfortune.

Purple
Royalty, spirituality, nobility, spirituality, ceremony, mysterious, transformation, wisdom, enlightenment, cruelty, arrogance, mourning.

Gray
Security, reliability, intelligence, staid, modesty, dignity, maturity, solid, conservative, practical, old age, sadness, boring

Brown
Earth, hearth, home, outdoors, reliability, comfort, endurance, stability, simplicity, and comfort.

White
Reverence, purity, simplicity, cleanliness, peace, humility, precision, innocence, youth, birth, winter, snow, good, sterility, marriage (Western cultures), death (Eastern cultures), cold, clinical, sterile.

Black
Power, sexuality, sophistication, formality, elegance, wealth, mystery, fear, evil, anonymity, unhappiness, depth, style, evil, sadness, remorse, anger, underground, good technical colour, mourning, death (Western cultures).

Ode to work

I've been busy scanning my computer for spyware (Boring, Boring, Boring!) so here's something I prepared earlier:

If you work and do your best,
You'll get the sack like all the rest.
But if you laze and b****r about,
You'll live to see the job right out.
The work is hard, the pay is small,
So take your time and s*d 'em all.
'Cause when you're dead you'll be forgot,
So don't try to do the blooming lot.
Or on your tombstone neatly lacquered,
These three words, "JUST BLEEDING KNACKERED!"

The search for perfection

Once upon a time I was a hi-fi buff. (Hi-fi is short for high fidelity.) I bought all the magazines on hi-fi that I could find.

I learned about platters and woofers and tweeters, and over time I learned a few other things about the world of hi-fi...

I learned of the holy grain of hi-fi: The perfect sound. Hi-fi was an all-male activity (or so it seemed) and I noticed that some of the descriptions of this imagined nirvana had sexual overtones, and for some there was an implied parallel between how good your hi-fi was and how good you were in bed.

Then CD’s were introduced to the scene, and had the same effect as a pike being introduced into a pool of minnows. But even when it was proved that CD’s had a superior sound quality to vinyl, some vinyl buffs still refused to believe. Perhaps the sound of music without the snap, crackle and pop of vinyl was too clinical and lifeless?

Well, that was then and this is now. However, when I look at what is happening with computers I am reminded of my experiences with hi-fi. I wonder where this search for the perfect computer is leading. Now we have computers with 2GB (Gigabytes) of RAM (Random Access Memory) and more than 160GB (Gigabytes) of hard disk space.

It is a sad fact that even a computer with these impressive specifications will soon become out of date as software manufacturers compete to eat up memory, disk space and processor speed with 'improvements'. There is a term I picked up from a computer magazine in the 1990's - Bloatware - which sums things up nicely.

Is this rush towards apparent perfection driven by those who use computers or those who sell computers?

Heraldic colours

I am a fan of 'useless' information, so here is something I gleaned from the Internet:

Heraldic Colours.

Metals:

Metals consist of Gold, commonly called Or, and Silver, commonly called Argent

Gold / Or
Silver / Argent

Colors:

Red / Gules
Blue / Azure
Black / Sable
Green / Vert
Purple / Purpure
Orange / Tenne.
Blood Red / Sanguine.

Here is an article on heraldry from Wikipedia.

P. S.

It is J. R. R. Tolkien's birthday, and he is 116 today. Happy Birthday J. R. R.!

In my humble opinion...

We all have opinions, but it seems to have become a British pastime to opine on just about any subject. (Of course, the other British pastime is obsessing about the private lives of 'celebrities'.)

It is almost always a negative opinion. When's the last time you heard someone say, "I think that basically the government is doing a good job"?

Also I've noticed that the opiner will only opine to the converted. You will never hear an opiner say, "I think the monarchy should be abolished" to a group of royal buffs.

Whatever else we run short of there will always be an inexhaustible supply of opinions.

Hello

Well this is it, Darknorth's tog blog.

I'm a tog, (and I've got the Wake up to Wogan podcasts to prove it!) and I'm also into technology. It is my deepest, darkest secret that I once had a ZX81.

Interests:

Computers - Windows XP (Vista looks slightly scary!)
Music - Queen, Hendrix, Early Led Zeppelin. I'm also a fan of some new age and chillout electronic music as well as some Indian music.
Art - I'm a fan of Leonardo da Vinci and M C Escher. I don't understand modern art at all. Who wants to look at a pile of bricks?

I'd love feedback, but please no language you wouldn't hear in the Bible or on Wake up to Wogan.

Thanks!