David Bowie and Bing Crosby - Little Drummer Boy

This is what you have to do

You will need:

A stout wooden stick, sharpened at one end,
A glass or metal bowl,
A sturdy, powerful torch (Check it works!),
An ornamental dagger,
A quantity of blood (Yours, your worst enemy's etc.) in a bottle,
Six black candles and a box of matches,
An area of sand or sandy soil,
A suitable bag or hold-all for carrying some of the above.

What you are about to do will require you to summon Satan but, as you will see, the end justifies the means. Choose a night which astrologically corresponds to Mercury, the god of magic and which also coincides with a full moon. Put the wooden stick, the bowl, the bottle, the torch, the dagger (suitably sheathed), the matches and the candles in a suitable bag or hold-all. Make your way to the area of ground you have reconnoitred with everything you will need and you are ready to begin. Make sure that you have timed things so that you will have everything ready by 12 midnight.

Take the sharpened stick and inscribe a large pentacle on the ground. Place one of the black candles by each point of the pentacle. Place the bowl in the exact centre of the pentacle and pour the blood into it. Dip the tip of the blade of the dagger in the blood, then place it beside the bowl. Light the candles and walk outside the pentacle.

Now is the time for you to summon Satan. The Internet is replete with information on the right words to say in order to do this, but I usually find you can't go wrong with the appropriate passage of the Necronomicon.

There are a number of caveats about doing this, but as far as I know this is the only way known to Man of getting Windows Vista to work as it should.

H. P. Lovecraft - Documentary

How to save the world