The Akashic Record

Imagine if every word you speak, every thought you think and everything you do were written down in a book. Now imagine that the words, thoughts and actions of everyone else were written in the same book, along with an exact record of everything else that happens in the universe. Now imagine that the writer of the book had begun his (or her) work on the day that the universe began. [It would have to be a big book, or written in very small letters!]

So, for example the fate of Lord Lucan, the identity of 'Jack the ripper' and the reason for the building of Stonehenge [But not the winning numbers of the next Lotto!] are all recorded in the book if you know where to look, for it is said that it is also possible for you to read the book, if you only knew how.

This is the basic idea of the Akashic record which is written, not in a book, but in the very fabric of creation.

Banker Helps Mother Duck and her Ducklings

A selection of Solar System objects

The Sun
Mercury
Venus
Earth
>Moon (Luna)
Mars
>Deimos
>Phobos
Asteroid belt
>Ceres, a dwarf planet in the asteroid belt
>Pallas - Asteroid
>Juno - Asteroid
>Vesta - Asteroid
Jupiter
>Io
>Europa
>Ganymede
>Callisto
Saturn
-The Rings of Saturn
>Mimas
>Enceladus
>Tethys
>Dione
>Rhea
>Titan
>Hyperion
>Iapetus
Uranus
-Rings of Uranus
>Miranda
>Ariel
>Umbriel
>Titania
>Oberon
Neptune
-Rings of Neptune
>Proteus
>Triton
>Nereid
>Centaurs - minor planet
>Damocloids - minor planet
>Plutinos - Kuiper belt object
Pluto - A dwarf planet
Charon - Kuiper belt object
Nix - Kuiper belt object
Hydra - Kuiper belt object
90482 Orcus
50000 Quaoar
20000 Varuna
Haumea - A dwarf planet
Namaka
Hi'iaka
Makemake - A dwarf planet
Eris - A dwarf planet
>Dysnomia
(84522) 2002 TC302
Sedna

Cat solves printer problem

Medical abbreviations they don't tell you about.

APD - Acute Prozac Deficiency (depression)
AFU & BR - all f***ed up & beyond repair
AHF - Acute Hissy Fit
APTFRAN - Apply Pillow To Face, Repeat As Necessary (for annoying patient)
AQR - Ain’t Quite Right
AST - Assuming Seasonal Temperature (dead)
ATFO - Asked To F*** Off
AWTB/AWTF - Away With The Birds/Away With The Fairies; a patient who is totally confused
BFH - Brat From Hell (usually accompanied by PFH - Parent(s) from Hell)
BTFOM - Beats The F*** Outta Me
BVA - Breathing Valuable Air
BWS - Beached Whale Syndrome
CHAOS - Chief Has Arrived On Scene
CRAFT - Can't Remember A F***ing Thing
CTD - Circling The Drain (see: Close To Death)
DOASTW - Dead On Arrival, and Stayed That Way
DRT - Dead right there
DRTTTT - Dead Right There, There, There, and There - (used after pedestrian/train altercations)
DYRTIGAF - Do You Really Think I Give A (hmmm...)
FD - f***ing drunk
FDGB - Fall Down, Go Boom
FIBD - Found In Bed Dead
FINE - F***ed up, insecure, neurotic & emotional
FITH - F***ed in the head
FORD - Found On Road Dead
FUBAR - Fouled/Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition/Redemption
FUBAR BUNDY - Fouled/Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition/Redemption But Unfortunately Not Dead Yet
GACP - Gravity Assisted Concrete Poisoning - jumped/fell from height
GOMA - Get out of My Ambulance
GOMER = Get Out of My Emergency Room
HBD (or SBD) - (S)he Be Dead
HUA - Head Up Ass
IBM - Incredible Barfing Man
JAR or JAR Syndrome – Just Ain’t Right (often used when a patient has multiple issues)
Journal of Anecdotal Medicine - Davourite, but unwritten, source of medical wisdom
LASGLH - Lights and sirens, go like hell
LFTWM - Looking for 3 Wise Men (applied to young pregnant females who deny having had intercourse)
MARPs - Mind Altering Recreational Pharmaceuticals
NFN - Normal for Norfolk
NFPA - No F***ing Practical Application
PEP - Pharmaceutically Enhanced Personality - stoned or medicated
Please Consult Us If New Issues Arise - Please never page me again
PIA - Pain In the Ass
PITA - Pain In The Ass
SEP - Somebody else’s problem
SHPOS - Sub-Human Piece of S***
SNEFS - Sub-Normal Even For Suffolk
SSDD - Same Sh*t Different Day
SWAG - Scientific Wild Ass Guess
TMB - Too Many Birthdays (old folks home)
TMI - Three Meaningless Initials (e.g. John Smith, TMI - applied to medics with qualifications rather than ability)
TTFO - Told To F*ck Off
TTOAST - Take Them Out and Shoot Them
ULPP - Unlicensed Pharmaceutical Provider (drug dealer)
WOMBAT - Waste Of Money, Brains And Time