The Wisdom of Poor Richard's Almanack (1733–1758)

• Better slip with foot than tongue.
• Without justice, courage is weak.
• No man e'er was glorious, who was not laborious.
• Whate'ers begun in anger ends in shame.
• What one relishes, nourishes.
• All things are easy to Industry, All things difficult to Sloth.
• If you ride a horse, sit close and tight, if you ride a man, sit easy and light.
• Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog.
• Who pleasure gives, Shall joy receive.
• Be neither silly, nor cunning, but wise.
• All things are cheap to the saving, dear to the wasteful.
• Would you persuade, speak of Interest, not of Reason.
• Teach your child to hold his tongue, he'll learn fast enough to speak.
• He that cannot obey, cannot command.
• An innocent Plowman is more worthy than a vicious Prince.
• An Egg to-day is better than a Hen to-morrow.
• He that is rich need not live sparingly, and he that can live sparingly need not be rich.
• If you wou'd be reveng'd of your enemy, govern your self.
• As sore places meet most rubs, proud folks meet most affronts.
• He does not possess Wealth, it possesses him.
• He that waits upon Fortune, is never sure of a Dinner.
• If you woul'd have Guests merry with your cheer, be so your self, or so at least appear.
• Look before, or you'll find yourself behind.
• Approve not of him who commends all you say.
• By diligence and patience, the mouse bit in two the cable.
• The poor man must walk to get meat for his stomach, the rich man to get a stomach to his meat.
• Necessity never made a good bargain.
• If Pride leads the Van, Beggary brings up the Rear.
• There's many witty men whose brains can't fill their bellies.
• Weighty Questions ask for deliberate Answers.
• Be slow in choosing a Friend, slower in changing.
• Pain wastes the Body, Pleasures the Understanding.
• Humility makes great men twice honourable.
• What's given shines, What's receiv'd is rusty.
• Three may keep a Secret, if two of them are dead.
• Poverty wants some things, Luxury many things, Avarice all things.
• A lie stands on 1 leg, the Truth on 2.
• Deny Self for Self's sake.
• It is better to take many Injuries than to give one.
• Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.
• Here comes the Orator! with his Flood of Words, and his Drop of Reason.
• He is no clown that drives the plow, but he that doth clownish things.
• If you know how to spend less than you get, you have the Philosophers-Stone.
• The good Paymaster is Lord of another man's Purse.
• Fish & Visitors stink in 3 days.
• Diligence is the mother of Good-Luck.
• He that lives upon Hope, dies fasting.
• Do not do what you would not have known.
• Wealth is not his that has it, but his that enjoys it.
• In a discreet man's mouth, a publick thing is private.
• Admiration is the Daughter of Ignorance.
• There are more old Drunkards than old Doctors.
• She that paints her face, thinks of her Tail.
• He that takes a wife, takes care.
• He that can have Patience, can have what he will.
• God helps them that help themselves.
• None preaches better than the ant, and she says nothing.
• The rotton Apple spoils his Companions.
• Don't throw stones at your neighbours, if your own windows are glass.
• The excellency of hogs is fatness, of men virtue.
• Force shites upon Reason's Back.
• Lovers, Travellers, and Poets, will give money to be heard.
• He that speaks much, is much mistaken.
• Creditors have better memories than debtors.
• He that lives well, is learned enough.
• Poverty, Poetry and new Titles of Honour, make Men ridiculous.
• He that scatters Thorns, let him not go barefoot.
• There's none deceived but he that trusts.
• God heals, and the Doctor takes the Fees.
• If you desire many things, many things will seem but a few.
• He that would live in peace & at ease, Must not speak all he knows, nor judge all he sees.
• The greatest monarch on the proudest throne, is oblig'd to sit upon his own arse.
• The Master-piece of Man, is to live to the purpose.
• He that can take rest is greater than he that can take cities.
• Love and lordship hate companions.
• He that can compose himself, is wiser than he that composes books.
• Poor Dick, eats like a well man, and drinks like a sick.
• Love, Cough, & a Smoke, can't be well hid.
• Well done is better than well said.
• He that can travel well afoot, keeps a good horse.
• No better relation than a prudent & faithful Friend.
• A good Lawyer is a bad Neighbour.
• The worst wheel of the cart makes the most noise.
• Don't misinform your Docter nor your Lawyer.
• I never saw an oft-transplanted tree, nor yet an oft-removed family, that throve so well as those that settled be.
• Three good meals a day is a bad living.
• To whom thy secret thou dost tell, to him thy freedom thou dost sell.
• He that pursues two Hares at once, does not catch one and lets t'other go.
• The noblest question in the world is What Good may I do in it?
• Write with the learned, pronounce with the vulgar.
• If thou hast wit & learning, add to it Wisdom and Modesty.
• Sell not virtue to purchase wealth, nor Liberty to purchase power.
• Let thy vices die before thee.
• Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
• Since I cannot govern my own tongue, tho' within my own teeth, how can I hope to govern the tongues of others?
• If you do what you should not, you must hear what you would not.
• Wish not so much to live long as to live well.
• As we must account for every idle word, so we must for every idle silence.
• Reading makes a full Man, Meditation a profound Man, discourse a clear Man.
• None but the well-bred man knows how to confess a fault, or acknowledge himself in an error.
• There is much difference between imitating a good man, and counterfeiting him.
• Eat to please thyself, but dress to please others.
• Search others for their virtues, thy self for thy vices.
• Trust thy self, and another shall not betray thee.
• Historians relate, not so much what is done, as what they would have believed.
• He that falls in love with himself, will have no Rivals.
• No Resolution of Repenting hereafter, can be sincere.
• Honour thy Father and Mother, i. e. Live so as to be an Honour to them tho' they are dead.
• Hear no ill of a Friend, nor speak any of an Enemy.
• Be not niggardly of what costs thee nothing, as courtesy, counsel, & countenance.
• Beware of him that is slow to anger: He is angry for something, and will not be pleased for nothing.
• Proclaim not all thou knowest, all thou owest, all thou hast, nor all thou canst.
• Lying rides upon Debt's back.
• When Knaves fall out, honest Men get their goods: When Priests dispute, we come at the Truth.
• He that speaks ill of the Mare, will buy her.
• They who have nothing to trouble them, will be troubled at nothing.
• To err is human, to repent divine, to persist devilish.
• There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one's self.
• Genius without education is like silver in the mine.
• Anger is never without a Reason, but seldom with a good One.

He’s just a little donkey

He’s just a little donkey.  By S. R. Eggleton.

He’s just a little donkey, on the long and dusty road,

Travelling to Bethany, and carrying his load.

He carries Mary safely, with no rest upon the way,

But he’s just a little donkey, and he’s carried her all day.

The day is nearly over. The sun is sinking low,

But Mary is with child, and she needs a place to go.

All the rooms are taken, and there’s just a barn to spare,

And so among the hay bales, Mary’s baby is born there.

The baby was born in a barn, but he didn’t even cry.

They laid him in a manger, and the donkey stood nearby.

He carried Mary safely, on the road to Bethany,

And still on every donkey’s back, there’s a cross for all to see.

Good will to all men - unless you're gay

HOLY FATHER REVISITS 2008 IN GREETING ROMAN CURIA

VATICAN CITY, 22 DEC 2008 (VIS) - Today in the Clementine Hall of the Vatican the Holy Father had his traditional meeting with the cardinals, archbishops, bishops, and members of the Roman Curia to exchange Christmas greetings.

The Pope began his address recalling some of the anniversaries commemorated in 2008, including 50 years from the death of Pius XII and John XXIII's ascension to the papal throne, 40 years from the publication of the encyclical 'Humanae Vitae' and 30 years from the death of its author, Paul VI, as well as the inauguration, on 28 June, of the Pauline Year at the Roman basilica of St. Paul Outside the Walls, participated in by Ecumenical Patriarch Bartholomew I.

"The Pauline Year", the Holy Father affirmed, "is a year of pilgrimage not only in the sense of travelling to the Pauline places, but above all of the heart's pilgrimage, with Paul, to Jesus Christ. Paul definitively teaches us that the Church is the Body of Christ, that the Head and the Body are inseparable, and that that it is not possible to love Christ without love for His Church and its living community".

Benedict XVI then referred to three other important events of the year including the World Youth Day in Australia, "a great celebration of the faith", his two apostolic trips to the United States and to France, and the Synod of Bishops at which "pastors from all over the world gathered around the Word of God, which was lifted up among them".

During the Synod, on the one hand, the Pope explained, "we are again made aware of what God, through His Word, addresses to each of us" and "we understand that His Word is present so that we might draw near to one another". On the other hand "this Word has shaped a common history and wants to continue doing so", which is why "we can understand it properly and fully only in the 'we' of the community instituted by God: ever aware that we can never exhaust it completely because it has something new to say to each generation. ... God, in the end, always speaks in the present".

During the synodal assembly it was very important, he added, "to experience that Pentecost exists even today in the Church -- ... the various modes of the experience of God and world and the wealth of cultures are present in her and only thus is revealed the vastness of human existence and, through it, the vastness of the Word of God".

The "presence of the Word of God, God Himself at this moment in history", has been the conducting thread of this year's pastoral visits, whose "true meaning can only be of serving this presence", the Holy Father emphasized. "In those occasions the Church", he observed, "makes the faith publicly perceptible through her, and therefore also the question of God".

Focusing on World Youth Day, which "each time becomes more an object for analysis, which attempts to understand this species, so to speak, of 'youth culture'", the Pope recalled that some analysts consider it a "type of rock festival, in the ecclesial sense, with the Pope as its 'star'". Nevertheless, it has to be kept in mind that these days "do not consist solely in that week that is seen by the rest of the world" and that "beforehand there is a long exterior and interior journey leading up to them. The Cross, accompanied by the image of the Mother of the Lord, makes a pilgrimage throughout the world. ... The meeting with the Cross, which is touched and carried by the youth, becomes an interior encounter with the One who died on the Cross for us". This encounter "awakens the memory of God who desired to become human and suffer with us in the depths of the youth. And we see the woman whom He gave us as Mother. The official Youth Days are just the culmination of a long journey".

The Pope continually referred to "four dimensions of the theme 'The Holy Spirit'". First of all, "the faith in the Creator Spirit", he said, " is an essential content of the Christian Creed. ... In our faith regarding creation we encounter the ultimate foundation of our responsibility toward the earth. It is not simply our property to be exploited according to our interests and desires. Rather, it is a gift of the Creator".

While highlighting that the Church "cannot and should not limit herself to transmitting just the message of salvation to her faithful", the Holy Father said that it must also "protect the human being against self-destruction. It is necessary to have something like an ecology of the human being, understood in the proper manner. It is not a surpassed metaphysics when Church speaks of the nature of the human being as man and woman, and demands that this order of creation be respected. ... That which is often expressed and understood by the term 'gender', is definitively resolved in the self-emancipation of the human being from creation and the Creator".

Secondly, he continued, the Spirit "also speaks, so to say, with human words, and has entered into history ... The Holy Spirit is the Word that we encounter in the writings of the Old and New Testaments. ... Reading Scripture together with Christ we learn to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit in human words and we discover the unity of the Bible".

Benedict XVI commented that the third dimension of pneumatology is "the inseparability of Christ and the Holy Spirit. This is seen in possibly the most beautiful way in St. John's narration of the first apparition of the Resurrected Christ to His disciples: He breathed on them and in this way gave them the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the breath of Christ".

"The fourth dimension", he said, "emerges spontaneously as the connection between the Spirit and the Church". In this context he recalled that St. Paul "presented the Church as the Body of Christ and thus as the organism of the Holy Spirit, in which the gifts of the Holy Spirit join individuals into a single living being".

The Pope stressed that "the theme of 'The Holy Spirit' ... makes the entire breadth of the Christian faith visible. It is a breadth, which from the responsibility for creation and for the existence of the human being in harmony with creation, leads through the themes of Scripture and salvation history to Christ. From Christ it continues on to the living community of the Church in its orders and responsibilities as well as its immensity and freedom, which are expressed as much in the multiplicity of charisms as in the image of Pentecost with its multitude of languages and cultures".

"The Holy Spirit grants us joy. He is joy. ... This joy is the expression of happiness, of being in harmony with oneself, which is only possible if one is in harmony with God and His creation".

The Pope concluded expressing his wish at the end of this year, "that happiness be always alive in us and thus shine forth to the world in its tribulations". 

From HERE

Proverbs from around the world

• A bad cause requires many words - German Proverb
  
• A book is like a garden carried in the pocket - Arab Proverb
  
• A bird in the hand is worth two in a bush - English Proverb
  
• A broken hand works, but not a broken heart - Persian Proverb
  
• A cat has nine lives - Proverb of Unknown Origin
  
• A clear conscience is a soft pillow - German Proverb
  
• A close friend can become a close enemy - Ethiopian Proverb
  
• A closed mouth catches no flies - Italian Proverb
  
• A country can be judged by the quality of its proverbs - German Proverb
  
• A courtyard common to all will be swept by none - Chinese Proverb
  
• A dimple on the chin, the devil within - Gaelic Proverb
  
• A dog is wiser than a woman; it does not bark at its master - Russian Proverb
  
• A drink precedes a story - Irish Proverb
  
• A drowning man is not troubled by rain - Persian Proverb
  
• A fool sees not the same tree that a wise man sees - William Blake "Proverbs of Hell" (1790)
  
• A forest is in an acorn - Proverb of Unknown Origin
  
• A friend in need is a friend indeed - English Proverb
  
• A friend's eye is a good mirror - Irish Proverb
  
• A good denial, the best point in law - Irish Proverb
  
• A good husband is healthy and absent - Japanese Proverb
  
• A healthy man is a successful man - French Proverb
  
• A hedge between keeps friendship green - French Proverb
  
• A hen is heavy when carried far - Irish Proverb
  
• A hound's food is in its legs - Irish Proverb
  
• A house without a dog or a cat is the house of a scoundrel - Portuguese Proverb
  
• A hungry man is an angry man - English Proverb
  
• A lie travels round the world while truth is putting her boots on - French Proverb
  
• A little too late, is much too late - German Proverb
  
• A loan though old is not gift. - Hungarian Proverb
  
• A lock is better than suspicion - Irish Proverb
  
• A man does not seek his luck, luck seeks its man - Turkish Proverb
  
• A man is not honest simply because he never had a chance to steal - Yiddish Proverb
  
• A man should live if only to satisfy his curiosity - Yiddish Proverb
  
• A monkey never thinks her baby's ugly - Haitian Proverb
  
• A new broom sweeps clean, but the old brush knows all the corners - Irish Proverb
  
• A penny saved is a penny gained. - Scottish Proverb
  
• A poor beauty finds more lovers than husbands - English Proverb
  
• A prudent man does not make the goat his gardener - Hungarian Proverb
  
• A rumor goes in one ear and out many mouths - Chinese proverb
  
• A silent mouth is melodious - Irish Proverb
  
• A single Russian hair outweighs half a Pole - Traditional Russian Saying
  
• A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in - Greek Proverb
  
• A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger   Bible - Proverbs 15:1  - 
  
• A son is a son till he gets him a wife, But a daughter's a daughter the rest of your life - Proverb of Unknown Origin
  
• A spoon does not know the taste of soup, nor a learned fool the taste of wisdom - Welsh Proverb
  
• A table is not blessed if it has fed no scholars - Yiddish Proverb
  
• A teacher is better than two books - German Proverb
  
• A thief believes everybody steals - Proverb of Unknown Origin
  
• A thorn defends the rose, harming only those who would steal the blossom - Chinese proverb
  
• A throne is only a bench covered with velvet - French Proverb
  
• A trade not properly learned is an enemy - Irish Proverb
  
• A tree falls the way it leans - Bulgarian Proverb
  
• A white Christmas fills the churchyard - French Proverb
  
• A wise man hears one word and understands two - Yiddish Proverb
  
• A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows the public opinion - Chinese Proverb
  
• A woman has the form of an angel, the heart of a serpent, and the mind of an ass - German Proverb
  
• A worthy woman is far more precious than jewels, strength and dignity are her clothing - Bible - Proverbs 31
  
• Act in the valley so that you need not fear those who stand on the hill - Danish Proverb
  
• Advice should be viewed from behind - Swedish Proverb
  
• Advice when most needed is least heeded - English Proverb
  
• After shaking hands with a Greek, count your fingers - Albanian Saying
  
• Age is honorable and youth is noble - Irish Proverb
  
• All things grow with time, except grief - Yiddish Proverb
  
• An angry man is not fit to pray - Yiddish Proverb
  
• An apple a day keeps the doctor away - Proverb of Unknown Origin
  
• An ass in Germany is a professor in Rome - Traditional German Saying
  
• An enemy will agree, but a friend will argue - Russian Proverb
  
• An Englishman will burn his bed to catch a flea - Turkish Proverb
  
• An ox remains an ox, even if driven to Vienna - Hungarian Proverb
  
• And old rat is a brave rat - French Proverb
  
• Anger can be an expensive luxury - Italian Proverb
  
• Anger is as a stone cast into a wasp's nest - Malabar Proverb
  
• Anger without power is folly - German Proverb
  
• Appetite comes with eating - French Proverb
  
• As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly - Bible - Proverbs 26:11
  
• As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he - Bible - Proverbs 23:7
  
• As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far country - Bible - Proverbs 25:25 - 
  
• As mad as a March hare - Proverb of Unknown Origin
  
• As proud as a peacock - Proverb of Unknown Origin
  
• As sluttish and slatternly as an Irishwoman bred in France - Traditional Irish Saying
  
• As the best wine makes the sharpest vinegar, the truest lover may turn into the worst enemy - Proverb of Unknown Origin
  
• As the big hound is, so will the pup be - Irish Proverb
  
• As we live, so we learn - Yiddish Proverb
  
• Be neither intimate nor distant with the clergy - Irish Proverb
  
• Better give a penny then lend twenty - Italian Proverb
  
• Better no doctor at all than three - Polish Proverb
  
• Better the devil you know than the devil you don't know - English Proverb
  
• Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness - Chinese Proverb
  
• Better wear out shoes than sheets - Scottish Proverb
  
• Between the devil and the deep blue sea - Proverb of Unknown Origin
  
• Beware of a silent dog and still water - German Proverb
  
• Black as hell, strong as death, sweet as love  (About coffee.) - Turkish proverb
  
• Blood is thicker than water - English Proverb (17th Century)
  
• Both your friend and your enemy think you will never die - Irish Proverb
  
• Call on God, but row away from the rocks - Indian Proverb
  
• Children are poor men's riches - English Proverb
  
• Children should be seen and not heard - Proverb of Unknown Origin
  
• Children suck the mother when they are young and the father when they are old - English Proverb - 
  
• Choose neither a woman nor linen by candlelight - Italian Proverb
  
• Climb mountains to see lowlands - Chinese Proverb
  
• Clogs to clogs in three generations - English Proverb
  
• Clouds gather before a storm - Proverb of Unknown Origin
  
• Commit a sin twice and it will not seem a crime - Jewish Saying
  
• Curiosity killed the cat - Proverb of Unknown Origin
  
• Darkness reigns at the foot of the lighthouse - Japanese Proverb
  
• Deal with the faults of others as gently as with your own - Chinese Proverb
  
• Death always comes too early or too late - English Proverb
  
• Death closes all doors - English Proverb
  
• Death pays all debts - English Proverb
  
• Do not be born good or handsome, but be born lucky - Russian Proverb
  
• Do not blame God for having created the tiger, but thank him for not having given it wings - Indian Proverb
  
• Do not look where you fell, but where you slipped - African proverb
  
• Do not rejoice at my grief, for when mine is old, yours will be new - Spanish Proverb
  
• Do not speak of secrets in a field that is full of little hills - Hebrew Proverb
  
• Do not talk Arabic in the house of a Moor - Oriental Proverb
  
• Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend's forehead - Chinese Proverb
  
• Don't imitate the fly before you have wings - French Proverb
  
• Don't look a gift horse in the mouth - Proverb of Unknown Origin
  
• Eat well, drink in moderation, and sleep sound, in these three good health abound - Latin Proverb
  
• Epigrams succeed where epics fail - Persian Proverb
  
• Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding - Bible - Proverbs 17:28
  
• Even a small thorn causes festering - Irish Proverb
  
• Every ass loves to hear himself bray - Proverb of Unknown Origin
  
• Every cloud has a silver lining - English Proverb
  
• Every dog hath its day - English Proverb
  
• Every garden may have some weeds - English Proverb
  
• Everyone is kneaded out of the same dough but not baked in the same oven - Yiddish proverb
  
• Everyone loves justice in the affairs of another - Italian Proverb
  
• Everyone pushes a falling fence - Chinese Proverb
  
• Evil enters like a needle and spreads like an oak tree - Ethiopian Proverb
  
• Evil is sooner believed than good - Proverb of Unknown Origin
  
• Experience is a comb which nature gives to men when they are bald - Eastern Proverb
  
• Fame is a magnifying glass - English Proverb
  
• Feather by feather the goose can be plucked - French Proverb
  
• Fine feathers make fine birds - English Proverb
  
• Flattery makes friends and truth makes enemies - Spanish Proverb
  
• Fortune is a woman; if you neglect her today do not expect to regain her tomorrow - French Proverb
  
• Fortune is blind, but not invisible - French Proverb
  
• Friends are like fiddle strings, they must not be screwed too tight - English Proverb
  
• Friends are lost by calling often and calling seldom - French Proverb
  
• Friendship is a furrow in the sand - Tongan Proverb
  
• Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day -  Teach him how to fish and he'll eat forever - Chinese Proverb
  
• Give neither counsel nor salt till you are asked for it - Italian Proverb
  
• Give the devil his due - English Proverb
  
• Glutton: one who digs his grave with his teeth - French Proverb
  
• God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers - Jewish Proverb
  
• God gives the nuts, but he doesn't crack them - German proverb
  
• God heals, and the physician takes the fee - French Proverb
  
• God help the rich man, let the poor man beg! - Old English Proverb
  
• God help the rich, the poor can look after themselves - Old English Proverb
  
• Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat - Chinese Proverb
  
• Good advice is often annoying, bad advice never - French Proverb
  
• Good as drink is, it ends in thirst - Irish Proverb
  
• Good luck beats early rising - Irish Proverb
  
• Gray hairs are death's blossoms - English Proverb
  
• Have a horse of your own and then you may borrow another's - Welsh Proverb
  
• He is not wise that is not wise for himself - English Proverb
  
• He lied like an eyewitness - Russian Insult
  
• He makes his home where the living is best - Latin Proverb
  
• He that can't endure the bad will not live to see the good - Jewish Proverb
  
• He that is born to be hanged shall never be drowned - French Proverb (14th century)
  
• He that is rich will not be called a fool - Spanish Proverb
  
• He that lives on hope will die fasting - North American Proverb
  
• He that maketh haste to be rich shall not be innocent - Bible - Proverbs 28:20 - 
  
• He that marries for money will earn it - American Proverb
  
• He that plants thorns must never expect to gather roses - English Proverb
  
• He that seeks trouble never misses - English Proverb (17th century)
  
• He that spareth his rod hateth his son - Bible - Proverbs 24
  
• He that winna be ruled by the rudder maun be ruled by the rock - Scottish Proverb
  
• He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever - Chinese proverb
  
• He who cannot agree with his enemies is controlled by them - Chinese proverb
  
• He who comes with a story to you brings two away from you - Irish Proverb
  
• He who could foresee affairs three days in advance would be rich for thousands of years - Chinese Proverb
  
• He who does not know one thing knows another - Kenyan Proverb
  
• He who gets a name for early rising can stay in bed until midday - Irish Proverb
  
• He who has health, has hope; and he who has hope, has everything - Arabian Proverb
  
• He who has once burnt his mouth always blows his soup - German Proverb
  
• He who holds the ladder is as bad as the thief - German Proverb
  
• He who knows nothing, doubts nothing - Spanish Proverb
  
• e who leaps high must take a long run - Danish Proverb
  
• He who rides a tiger is afraid to dismount - Chinese Proverb
  
• He who serves two masters has to lie to one - Portuguese Proverb
  
• He who sups with the devil has need of a long spoon - English Proverb
  
• He who would climb the ladder must begin at the bottom - English Proverb
  
• He who would eat in Spain must bring his kitchen along - Traditional German Saying
  
• He whose face gives no light, shall never become a star - William Blake "Proverbs of Hell" (1790)
  
• Heaven lent you a soul Earth will lend a grave - Chinese Proverb
  
• Honesty is the best policy - English Proverb
  
• How many will listen to the truth when you tell them? - Yiddish Proverb
  
• Hygiene is two thirds of health - Lebanese Proverb
  
• If a man be great, even his dog will wear a proud look - Japanese Proverb
  
• If a man deceives me once, shame on him; if he deceives me twice, shame on me - Italian Proverb
  
• If all pulled in one direction, the world would keel over - Yiddish Proverb
  
• If God lived on earth, people would break his windows - Jewish Proverb
  
• If rich people could hire other people to die for them, the poor could make a wonderful living - Yiddish Proverb
  
• If the patient dies, the doctor has killed him, but if he gets well, the saints have saved him - Italian Proverb
  
• If two men ride a horse, one must ride behind - Proverb of Unknown Origin
  
• If you are planning for a year, sow rice; if you are planning for a decade, plant trees; if you are planning for a lifetime, educate people - Chinese Proverb
  
• If you believe everything you read, better not read - Japanese proverb
  
• If you bow at all bow low - Chinese Proverb
  
• If you do not sow in the spring you will not reap in the autumn - Irish Proverb
  
• If you love him, don't lend him - Polish Proverb
  
• If you take big paces you leave big spaces - Burmese Proverb
  
• If you want to be criticized, marry - Irish Proverb
  
• If you wish to die young, make your physician your heir - Romanian Proverb
  
• If you wish to know the mind of a man, listen to his words - Chinese Proverb
  
• In a calm sea every man is a pilot - Spanish Proverb
  
• In America half an hour is forty minutes - German Proverb
  
• In baiting a mousetrap with cheese, always leave room for the mouse - Greek Proverb
  
• In love, there is always one who kisses and one who offers the cheek - French Proverb
  
• Instinct is stronger than upbringing - Irish Proverb
  
• It is a bad hen that does not scratch herself - Irish Proverb
  
• It is a bold mouse that nestles in the cat's ear - English Proverb
  
• It is a long road that has no turning - Irish Proverb
  
• It is an equal failing to trust everybody, and to trust nobody - English Proverb (18th century)
  
• It is an ill wind that blows nobody any good - Proverb of Unknown Origin
  
• It is better to be a male for one day than a female for ten - Kurdish Proverb
  
• It is better to be born a beggar than a fool - Spanish Proverb
  
• It is better to conceal one's knowledge than to reveal one's ignorance - Spanish Proverb
  
• It is better to exist unknown to the law - Irish Proverb
  
• It is better to sit down than to stand, it is better to lie down than to sit, but death is the best of all -  (About laziness)Indian Proverb
  
• It is hard to pay for bread that has been eaten - Danish Proverb
  
• It is not a secret if it is known by three people - Irish Proverb
  
• It is not enough to run, one must start in time - French Proverb
  
• It is not fish until it is on the bank - Irish Proverb
  
• It is not the horse that draws the cart, but the oats - Russian proverb
  
• It is sweet to drink but bitter to pay for - Irish Proverb
  
• It is the good horse that draws its own cart - Irish Proverb
  
• It is the quiet pigs that eat the meal - Irish Proverb
  
• It takes time to build castles -  Rome wan not built in a day - Irish Proverb
  
• It's not a matter of upper and lower class but of being up a while and down a while - Irish Proverb
  
• Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come - Chinese Proverb
  
• Keep a thing for seven years and you'll find a use for it - Irish Proverb
  
• Kill not the goose that lays the golden eggs - English Proverb
  
• Lack of resource has hanged many a person - Irish Proverb
  
• Last ship, best ship - English Proverb
  
• Laws control the lesser man -  Right conduct controls the greater one - Chinese Proverb
  
• Lend your money and lose your friend - English Proverb
  
• Let sleeping dogs lie - English Proverb
  
• Let your heart guide your head in evil matters - Spanish Proverb
  
• Life is a bridge -  Cross over it, but build no house on it - Indian Proverb
  
• Life without a friend is death without a witness - Spanish Proverb
  
• Like a fish out of water - Latin Saying
  
• Like a lame man's legs that hang limp is a proverb in the mouth of a fool - Bible - Proverbs 26:7
  
• Listen to the sound of the river and you will get a trout - Irish Proverb
  
• Little pitchers have big ears - Proverb of Unknown Origin
  
• Live with wolves, and you learn to howl - Spanish Proverb
  
• Look down if you would know how high you stand - Yiddish Proverb
  
• Love enters a man through his eyes, woman through her ears - Polish Proverb
  
• Love makes the time pass -  Time makes love pass - French Proverb
  
• Love your neighbors, but don't pull down the fence - Chinese proverb
  
• Love, pain, and money cannot be kept secret; they soon betray themselves - Spanish Proverb
  
• Luck has a slender anchorage - English Proverb
  
• Make hay while the sun shines - English Proverb
  
• Mankind fears an evil man but heaven does not - Chinese Proverb
  
• Many a friend was lost through a joke, but none was ever gained so - Czech Proverb
  
• May as well be hanged for a sheep as a lamb - English Proverb
  
• May you have a bright future - as the chimney sweep said to his son - Irish Proverb
  
• Men count up the faults of those who keep them waiting - French Proverb
  
• Mere words do not feed the friars - Irish Proverb
  
• More grows in the garden than the gardener knows he has sown - Spanish Proverb
  
• Nature breaks through the eyes of the cat - Irish Proverb
  
• Necessity is the mother of invention - Irish Proverb
  
• Necessity knows no law - Irish Proverb
  
• Necessity never made a good bargain - North American Proverb
  
• Need teaches a plan - Irish Proverb
  
• Never cut what can be untied - Portuguese Proverb
  
• Never love with all your heart, it only ends in breaking - English Proverb
  
• Never marry for money -  Ye'll borrow it cheaper - Scottish Proverb
  
• Never put off till tomorrow what may be done today - English Proverb
  
• Night is the mother of council - Latin Proverb
  
• No man limps because another is hurt - Danish Proverb
  
• No rose without a thorn, or a love without a rival - Turkish Proverb
  
• No time like the present - English Proverb
  
• Not the cry, but the flight of the wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow - Chinese Proverb
  
• Not wine - men intoxicate themselves; Not vice - men entice themselves - Chinese Proverb
  
• Nothing dries sooner than tears - Latin Proverb
  
• Nothing is as burdensome as a secret - French Proverb
  
• One beggar at the door is enough - French Proverb
  
• One cannot shoe a running horse - Dutch Proverb
  
• One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters - English Proverb (17th century)
  
• One flower will not make a garland - French Proverb
  
• One generation plants the trees; another gets the shade - Chinese Proverb
  
• One joy scatters a hundred griefs - Chinese Proverb
  
• One of these day is none of these days - English Proverb
  
• One should go invited to a friend in good fortune, and uninvited in misfortune - Swedish Proverb
  
• One woman never praises another - Estonian Proverb
  
• Only the wearer knows where the shoe pinchesEnglish Proverb
  
• Patience is bitter but its fruit is sweet - French Proverb
  
• Patience is poultice for all wounds - Irish Proverb
  
• Patience is the best medicine - Proverb of Unknown Origin
  
• People live in each other's shelter - Irish Proverb
  
• Pigs might fly, but they are most unlikely birds - Proverb of Unknown Origin
  
• Politics is a rotten egg; if broken, it stinks - Russian proverb
  
• Poor men seek meat for their stomach, rich men stomach for their meat - English Proverb
  
• Power lasts ten years; influence not more than a hundred - Korean Proverb
  
• Practice makes perfect - English Proverb
  
• Praise the young and they will blossom - Irish Proverb
  
• Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall - Bible - Proverbs 16:18
  
• Procrastination is the thief of time - Proverb of Unknown Origin
  
• Public before private and country before family - Chinese Proverb
  
• Put silk on a goat, and it's still a goat - Irish Proverb
  
• Quiet people are well able to look after themselves - Irish Proverb
  
• Rags to riches to rags - Lancastrian Proverb
  
• Rain beats a leopard's skin, but it does not wash off the spots - Ashanti Proverb
  
• Rats desert a sinking ship - French Proverb
  
• Riches run after the rich, and poverty runs after the poor - French Proverb
  
• Roasted pigeons will not fly into one's mouth - Dutch Proverb
  
• Sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander - English Proverb
  
• Seek counsel of him who makes you weep, and not of him who makes you laugh - Arabic Proverb
  
• Set a beggar on horseback, and he 'll out ride the Devil - German Proverb
  
• Set a thief to catch a thief - English Proverb
  
• Silence was never written down - Italian Proverb
  
• Since we cannot get what we like, let us like what we can get - Spanish Proverb
  
• Sit a beggar at your table and he will soon put his feet on it - Russian Proverb
  
• Six hours' sleep for a man, seven for a woman and eight for a fool - English Proverb
  
• Small children give you headache; big children heartache - Russian Proverb
  
• Some people are masters of money, and some its slaves - Russian Proverb
  
• Sometimes I go about pitying myself, and all the time
  
• I am being carried on great wings across the sky - Ojibway Saying
  
• Sorrow for a husband is like a pain in the elbow, sharp and short - English Proverb
  
• Speak not of my debts unless you mean to pay them - English Proverb (17th century)
  
• Speak the truth, but leave immediately after - Slovenian Proverb
  
• Stars are not seen by sunshine - Spanish Proverb
  
• Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant - Bible - Proverbs 9:17 - 
  
• Sweet is the wine but sour is the payment - Irish Proverb
  
• Take heed of enemies reconciled, and of meat twice boiled - English Proverb - 
  
• Take thy thoughts to bed with thee, for the morning is wiser than the evening - Russian Proverb
  
• Talk of the devil and he is sure to appear - English Proverb
  
• Tell me who you live with and I will tell you who you are - Spanish Proverb
  
• Tell the truth and shame the devil - Proverb of Unknown Origin
  
• The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names - Chinese Proverb
  
• The best advice is found on the pillow - Danish Proverb
  
• The best thing about a man is his dog - French Proverb
  
• The big thieves hang the little ones - Czech proverb
  
• The church is near but the road is icy; the bar is far away but I'll walk carefully - Russian proverb
  
• The comforter's head never aches - Italian Proverb
  
• The darkest hour is that before the dawn - English Proverb
  
• The day will come when the cow will have use for her tail - Irish Proverb
  
• The devil looks after his own - Proverb of Unknown Origin
  
• The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials - Chinese Proverb
  
• The girl who can't dance says the band can't play - Yiddish Proverb
  
• The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence - Proverb of Unknown Origin
  
• The great thieves lead away the little thieves - French Proverb
  
• The hole is more honorable than the patch - Irish Proverb
  
• The hours of folly are measured by the clock, but of wisdom no clock can measure - William Blake "Proverbs of Hell" (1790)
  
• The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law - Yiddish Proverb
  
• The jay bird don't rob his own nest - West Indies Proverb
  
• The light heart lives long - Irish Proverb
  
• The man who does not love a horse cannot love a woman - Spanish Proverb
  
• The man who strikes first admits that his ideas have given out - Chinese Proverb
  
• The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot - Irish Proverb
  
• The mills of God grind slowly but they grind finely - Irish Proverb
  
• The morning is wiser than the evening - Russian Proverb
  
• The nail that sticks up will be hammered down - Japanese Proverb
  
• The night rinses what the day has soaped - Swiss Proverb
  
• The only good thing that comes from the east is the sun - Traditional Portuguese Saying
  
• The palest ink is better than the best memory - Chinese proverb
  
• The pine stays green in winter, Wisdom in hardship - Chinese Proverb
  
• The raggy colt often made a powerful horse - Irish Proverb
  
• The reverse side also has a reverse side - Japanese proverb
  
• The right man comes at the right time - Italian Proverb
  
• The road to a friend's house is never long - Danish proverb
  
• The Russian knows the way, yet he asks for directions - Traditional German Saying
  
• The sea has an enormous thirst and an insatiable appetite - French Proverb
  
• The silent dog is the first to bite - German Proverb
  
• The smallest thing outlives the human being - Irish Proverb
  
• The Spaniard is a bad servant but a worse master - Traditional English Saying
  
• The sun will set without thy assistance - Hebrew Proverb
  
• The surest way to remain poor is to be an honest man - French Proverb
  
• The tallest blade of grass is the first to be cut by the scythe - Russian proverb
  
• The tongue is more to be feared than the sword - Japanese Proverb
  
• The tongue like a sharp knife. Kills without drawing blood - Chinese Proverb
  
• The truth is not always what we want to hear - Yiddish Proverb
  
• The turtle lays thousands of eggs without anyone knowing, but when the hen lays an egg, the whole country is informed - Malay Proverb
  
• The wearer best knows where the shoe pinches - Irish Proverb
  
• The well fed does not understand the lean - Irish Proverb
  
• The whisper of a pretty girl can be heard further than the roar of a lion - Arabian Proverb
  
• The wise adapt themselves to circumstances, as water molds itself to the pitcher - Chinese Proverb
  
• The wise man sits on the hole in his carpet - Persian Proverb
  
• The wolf loses his teeth, but not his inclinations - Spanish Proverb
  
• The work praises the man - Irish Proverb
  
• The world is a rose: smell it and pass it on to your friends - Persian Proverb
  
• The world would not make a racehorse of a donkey - Irish Proverb
  
• There are many paths to the top of the mountain, but the view is always the same - Chinese Proverb
  
• There are more old drunkards than old doctors - French Proverb
  
• There are only two types of Chinese -- those who give bribes and those who take them - Russian Proverb
  
• There are two great pleasures in gambling: that of winning and that of losing - French Proverb - 
  
• There is but one good mother-in-law and she is dead - English Proverb
  
• There is honor even among thieves - English Proverb
  
• There is hope from the sea, but none from the grave - Irish Proverb
  
• There is no fireside like your own fireside - Irish Proverb
  
• There is no luck except where there is discipline - Irish Proverb
  
• There is no need like the lack of a friend - Irish Proverb
  
• There is no strength without unity - Irish Proverb
  
• There is plenty of sound in an empty barrel - Russian Proverb
  
• There's many a slip 'twixt the cup and the lip - Greek Proverb
  
• They who love most are least valued - English Proverb
  
• Think with the wise but walk with the vulgar - German Proverb
  
• Thirst is the end of drinking and sorrow is the end of drunkenness - Irish Proverb
  
• Though a tree grow ever so high, the falling leaves return to the ground - Malay Proverb
  
• Three diseases without shame: Love, itch and thirst - Irish Proverb
  
• Three Spaniards, four opinions - Spanish Proverb
  
• Time is a great story teller - Irish Proverb
  
• Time trieth truth - English Proverb
  
• To be rich is not everything, but it certainly helps - Yiddish Proverb
  
• To deny all, is to confess all - Spanish Proverb
  
• To leave is to die a little - French Proverb
  
• To lend is to buy a quarrel - Indian Proverb
  
• To talk without thinking is to shoot without aiming - English Proverb (18th century)
  
• To teach is to learn - Japanese Proverb
  
• To the ass, or the sow, their own offspring appears the fairest in creation - Latin Proverb
  
• To whom you tell your secrets, to him you resign your liberty - Spanish Proverb
  
• Today is the first day of the rest of your life - North American Saying
  
• Tomorrow is a new day - English Proverb
  
• Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week - Spanish Proverb
  
• Tomorrow never comes - Proverb of Unknown Origin
  
• Trouble rides a fast horse - Italian Proverb
  
• True nobility is in being superior to your previous self - Hindustani Proverb
  
• Trust in Allah, but tie your camel - Old Muslim Proverb
  
• Truth and oil always come to the surface - Spanish Proverb
  
• Truth has a handsome countenance but torn garments - German Proverb
  
• Truth is the safest lie - Jewish Proverb
  
• Truth stands the test of time; lies are soon exposed - Bible - Proverbs 12:19
  
• Truth will be out - Latin Proverb
  
• Two shorten the road - Irish Proverb
  
• Two thirds of the work is the semblance - Irish Proverb
  
• Unless you enter the tiger's den you cannot take the cubs - Japanese Proverb
  
• Visit your aunt, but not every day of the year - Spanish Proverb
  
• Walk straight, my son - as the old crab said to the young crab - Irish Proverb
  
• Want a thing long enough and you don't - Chinese Proverb
  
• Water for oxen, wine for kings - Spanish Proverb
  
• We'll never know the worth of water till the well go dry - Scottish Proverb
  
• What belongs to everybody belongs to nobody - Spanish Proverb
  
• What breaks in a moment may take years to mend - Swedish proverb
  
• What one knows it is sometimes useful to forget - Latin Proverb
  
• What you can not avoid, welcome - Chinese Proverb
  
• When a father helps a son, both smile; but when a son must help his father, both cry - Jewish Proverb
  
• When a twig grows hard it is difficult to twist it -  Every beginning is weak - Irish Proverb
  
• When fire is applied to a stone it cracks - Irish Proverb
  
• When fortune knocks upon the door open it widely - Spanish Proverb
  
• When ill luck falls asleep, let none wake her - Italian Proverb
  
• When its time has arrived, the prey becomes the hunter - Persian Proverb
  
• When one dog barks another will join it - Latin Proverb
  
• When spider webs unite, they can tie up a lion - Ethiopian proverb
  
• When the apple is ripe it will fall - Irish Proverb
  
• When the drop (drink) is inside, the sense is outside - Irish Proverb
  
• When the liquor was gone the fun was gone - Irish Proverb
  
• When the mouse laughs at the cat, there is a hole nearby - Nigerian Proverb
  
• When the sword of rebellion is drawn, the sheath should be thrown away - English Proverb
  
• When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you - African Proverb
  
• When there is order in the nation, there will be peace in the world - Chinese Proverb
  
• When we sing everybody hears us, when we sigh nobody hears us - Russian Proverb
  
• When you live next to the cemetery you cannot weep for everyone - Russian Proverb
  
• When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced -  Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice - Indian proverb
  
• When your enemy falls, don't rejoice -- but don't pick him up either - Yiddish Proverb
  
• Where no counsel is, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety - Bible - Proverbs 11:14 - 
  
• Where the tongue slips, it speaks the truth - Irish Proverb
  
• Where there is love there is pain - Spanish Proverb
  
• Where there is no vision, the people perish - Bible - Proverbs 29:18
  
• Where there's music there can be love - French Proverb
  
• hile the cat's away, the mice can play - Proverb of Unknown Origin
  
• Who begins too much accomplishes little - German proverb
  
• Who knows most speaks least - Spanish Proverb
  
• Who lies with dogs shall rise up with fleas - Latin Proverb
  
• Wine divulges truth - Irish Proverb
  
• Witches and harlots come out at night - English Proverb
  
• With foxes we must play the fox - Proverb of Unknown Origin
  
• With money you are a dragon; with no money, a worm - Chinese Proverb
  
• Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die -  Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell - Bible - Proverbs 23:13-14 - 
  
• Without justice, courage is weak - North American Proverb
  
• Wonder is the beginning of wisdom - Greek proverb
  
• Yesterday is but a dream, tomorrow is but a vision. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, therefore, to This Day - Sanskrit Proverb
  
• You cannot make a silk purse out of a sow's ear - Irish Proverb
  
• You cannot reason with a hungry belly; it has no ears - Greek Proverb
  
• You cannot unscramble eggs - North American Proverb
  
• You can't hatch chickens from fried eggs - Dutch Proverb
  
• You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find a handsome prince - North American Proverb
  
• You must live with a person to know a person. If you want to know me come and live with me - Irish Proverb
  
• Young men may die, old men must - English Proverb
  
• Young wood makes a hot fire - Greek Proverb
  
• Your health comes first; you can always hang yourself later - Yiddish Proverb
  
• Your neighbor's apples are the sweetest - Yiddish Proverb
  
• Youth does not mind where it sets its foot - Irish Proverb
  
• Youth sheds many a skin. The steed (horse) does not retain its speed forever - Irish Proverb
  
• You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was - Irish Proverb
  

Reasons why people have car accidents

These are apparently taken from genuine car insurance claim forms...

"Going to work at 7am this morning I drove out of my drive straight into a bus. The bus was 5 minutes early." (thanks N Bradley)

"I was driving along when I saw two kangaroos copulating in the middle of the road causing me to ejaculate through the sun roof." (from an Australian claim form - ack N Shepherd)

"The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind." (Thanks Sharon Burrows)

"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."

"I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard."

"On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke."

"I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control."

"I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight"

"The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again"

"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment."

"The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention."

"I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way"

"A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face"

"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car"

"In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."

"I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car."

"I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident."

"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished."

"I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."

"Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have."

"The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."

"I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident."

"As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before."

"To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian."

"My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle."

"I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull."

"I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him."

"The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him."

"I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car."

"The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth."

"The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of the way when I struck the front end."

"The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing. "

"I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way."

"I was backing my car out of the driveway in the usual manner, when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several times before."

"When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car."

"The accident happened when the right front door of a car came round the corner without giving a signal."

"No one was to blame for the accident but it would never have happened if the other driver had been alert."

"I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries."

"The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him."

"I saw her look at me twice. She appeared to be making slow progress when we met on impact."

"The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle."

"I bumped into a lamp-post which was obscured by human beings."

"The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week."

"I knocked over a man; he admitted it was his fault for he had been knocked down before."

I believe

I believe that aliens from Zeta Reticuli listen to my 'phone calls and read my e-mails. As I look out of the window I can see a UFO hovering in the sky and know I am being watched. I believe that they killed Kennedy and that they control all world governments. I believe that the world is flat and that the moon landings were faked. Furthermore, I believe that the current Labour government is the best thing ever happen to this country.

Do you think I am mad? I do!